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Message: <blockquote data-quote="sanath ekanayake" data-source="post: 11103490" data-attributes="member: 162082">Warning!!! Read these very slowly!        They are very complex and extremely complicated and just might, could possibly, go over your head a mite.  These are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts' and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ____________________________________________  ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget.ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?<img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/shocked.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":shocked:" title="Shocked    :shocked:" data-shortname=":shocked:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/shocked.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":shocked:" title="Shocked    :shocked:" data-shortname=":shocked:" />_____________________________________________   ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.__________________________________________________  ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?___________________________________________________  ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid_____________________________________________________  ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?__________________________________________________  ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death.ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess. __________________________________________________________  ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.__________________________________________________________  ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ____________________________________________________________  ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. ___________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral. _____________________________________________________________  ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished._________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ___________________________________________________________  And the best for last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.<img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /></blockquote>

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