One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn''t buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven''t
used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that''s how the fight started.....
__________________________________________________ ____________
My wife walked into the den & asked "What''s on the TV?"
I replied "Dust".
And that''s how the fight started.....
__________________________________________________ ____________
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.''
The husband replies, ''Your eyesight''''''''s damn near perfect.''
And that''s how the fight started.....
__________________________________________________ _________
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, ''I want something shiny that goes
from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.''
I bought her a scale,
And that''s how the fight started.....
__________________________________________________ __________
I asked my wife, ''Where do you want to go for our
anniversary?''
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation.
''''''''Somewhere I haven''t been in a long time!'' she said.
So I suggested, ''How about the kitchen?''!
And that''s when the fight started....
__________________________________________________ _____________
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ''Do you want
to have sex?''
''''No,''she answered.
I then said, ''Is that your final answer?''''
She didn''t even look at me this time, simply saying ''Yes.''
So I said, ''Then I''d like to phone a friend.''
And that''''s when the fight started....
__________________________________________________ _____________
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light
for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told
her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that''s when the fight started.....
__________________________________________________ ____________
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first.
''I''ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.''
He said, ''Aren''t you worried about the mad cow?''
''''Nah, she can order for herself.''
And that''s when the fight started...................
cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn''t buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven''t
used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that''s how the fight started.....
__________________________________________________ ____________
My wife walked into the den & asked "What''s on the TV?"
I replied "Dust".
And that''s how the fight started.....
__________________________________________________ ____________
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.''
The husband replies, ''Your eyesight''''''''s damn near perfect.''
And that''s how the fight started.....
__________________________________________________ _________
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, ''I want something shiny that goes
from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.''
I bought her a scale,
And that''s how the fight started.....
__________________________________________________ __________
I asked my wife, ''Where do you want to go for our
anniversary?''
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation.
''''''''Somewhere I haven''t been in a long time!'' she said.
So I suggested, ''How about the kitchen?''!
And that''s when the fight started....
__________________________________________________ _____________
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ''Do you want
to have sex?''
''''No,''she answered.
I then said, ''Is that your final answer?''''
She didn''t even look at me this time, simply saying ''Yes.''
So I said, ''Then I''d like to phone a friend.''
And that''''s when the fight started....
__________________________________________________ _____________
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light
for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told
her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that''s when the fight started.....
__________________________________________________ ____________
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first.
''I''ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.''
He said, ''Aren''t you worried about the mad cow?''
''''Nah, she can order for herself.''
And that''s when the fight started...................
