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And then the fight started! :D :D
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<blockquote data-quote="raichu" data-source="post: 8100802" data-attributes="member: 125044"><p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">When she asked me why, I replied, </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">And that's how the fight started..... </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">I asked my wife, </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">she said. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">So I suggested, </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'How about the kitchen?' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">And that's when the fight started... </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">I turned to her and said, </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'Do you want to have Sex?' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'No,' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">she answered. I then said, </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'Is that your final answer?' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'Yes..' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">And that's when the fight started... </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">I took my wife to a restaurant. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'I'll have the rump steak, medium rare, please.' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'Nah, she can order for herself.' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">And that's when the fight started..... </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">She asked, 'What's on TV?' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">I said, 'Dust' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">And then the fight started.. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">I bought her a set of bathroom scales. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">And then the fight started... </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">I asked her, 'Do you know him?' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'Yes,' she sighed, </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'He's my old boyfriend... . I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'My God!' I said, </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">And then the fight started... </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'I AM NOT HAPPY!' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">And then the fight started… </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER: </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the Ute, making beer.. Always something more important to me. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">I said, </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.' </span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.</span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px">and thats how the fight started ! <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/D.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":D" title="Big grin :D" data-shortname=":D" /></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Comments and +Rep if you like this <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/wink.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="raichu, post: 8100802, member: 125044"] [CENTER][SIZE="4"]One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started..... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?' And that's when the fight started... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes..' So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.' And that's when the fight started... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the rump steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's when the fight started..... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust' And then the fight started.. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a set of bathroom scales. And then the fight started... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, 'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' she sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend... . I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' I said, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started… ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER: When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the Ute, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.' The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. and thats how the fight started ! :D[/SIZE][/CENTER] Comments and +Rep if you like this ;) [/QUOTE]
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