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Message: <blockquote data-quote="FUNasela" data-source="post: 3349041" data-attributes="member: 54899">My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. Sheasked, 'What's on TV?'I said, 'Dust.'And then the fight started.================================================== =====================My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. Shesaid, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'I bought her a scale.And then the fight started.================================================== ===================When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplaceexpensive... so, I took her to a gas station...And then the fight started....================================================== ==================After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for SocialSecurity. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license toverify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and comeback later.The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealingmy curly silver hair..She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' andshe processed my Social Security application.When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the SocialSecurity office.She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gottendisability, too.'And then the fight started...================================================== =============My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I keptstaring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at anearby table.My wife asked, 'Do you know her?''Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand shetook to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear shehasn't been sober since.''My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go oncelebrating that long?'And then the fight started...================================================== ==========I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road andslowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just getsoooo stressed and little things just seem funny?Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'And then the fight started...__________________I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast @ my car.</blockquote>

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