Eight Incredible Real Life Examples of Architecture Porn
Seeing pornographic imagery in everyday items – it’s not just for horny teenagers. While we can occasionally chalk up turning a curved wall or protruding edifice into some kind of ribald symbol to sex on the brain, it doesn’t take a prurient mindset to see the naughty bits in the following structures.
Seeing pornographic imagery in everyday items – it’s not just for horny teenagers. While we can occasionally chalk up turning a curved wall or protruding edifice into some kind of ribald symbol to sex on the brain, it doesn’t take a prurient mindset to see the naughty bits in the following structures.
San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station (SONGS) – San Clemente, CA
San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station (SONGS) – Night View
The twin reactors produce enough nuclear power to serve the needs of over one million homes each year. These ample mounds are tipped with nipple-like glowing red warning lights that suggestively illuminate the evening sky.
Smurfit-Stone Building – Chicago, IL
Thanks to a prominent vertical slit and what seems to be a pretty active visual imagination on the part of Chicagoans, the Smurfit–Stone is often referred to as the Vagina Building. Not sure if we really see it ourselves except in a highly stylized and ouch! inducing way.
Popular lore says the structure was created by a frustrated female architect in response to the predominance of Phallus shaped buildings of the Chicago skyline. Unfortunately for those backing the feminist revenge theory, that story has been debunked by the building’s architect, Sheldon Schlegman of A. Epstein and Sons, who claims the lusty aesthetic was unintentional.
China 2008 Olympic Stadium – Concept Design
Sadly for aficionados of yonic architecture, one of the better representations of girly private parts never got out of the concept stage.
A finalist in the 2008 Beijing Olympic stadium design competition, this proposed sports center featured a retractable red roof and gently sloping elliptical form that had many calling out its overt referencing of the female anatomy.
China 2008 Olympic Stadium –Open at Night Concept Design
While this concept was eventually beat out by Swiss architecture firm Herzog & de Meuron’s “bird’s nest” design, hope springs eternal in Qatar for fans of the Vag as sporting arena.
Al-Khor Qatar World Cup – Concept Design
The Al-Khor stadium design is one of the first five proposed stadia for the Qatar World Cup in 2022.
Designed by German architect Albert Speer & Partners, the stadium is based on the sea shell, but bears more than a passing resemblance to female private parts, albeit with what appear to be a terrifying set of added teeth.
Al-Khor Qatar World Cup – Concept Design
The Al-Khor stadium design is one of the first five proposed stadia for the Qatar World Cup in 2022.
Designed by German architect Albert Speer & Partners, the stadium is based on the sea shell, but bears more than a passing resemblance to female private parts, albeit with what appear to be a terrifying set of added teeth.
Torre Agbar – Barcelona, Spain
Because of the inherent nature of the female anatomy, unless you are designing a bomb shelter or underground parking structure, mimicking lady parts is going to be a bit limiting in the world of architecture. Not so for the phallus. In cities around the globe edifices of stone and steel thrust skyward in priapic glory. Europe is home to two of the most notable and overtly phallic structures.
Completed in 2005, the smooth shaft and domed tip of Torre Agbar dominates the Barcelona skyline. Popularly referred to as “El Supositori” (the suppository) the building’s famed architect, Jean Nouvel claims a natural spewing geyser and mountain range as his inspiration.
Undoubtedly a massive, notable structure in Spain, the Torre Agbar falls just a bit short in height and girth compared to what London has to offer.
30 St Mary Axe – London, England
Visitors to Swinging London can’t miss the 30 St Mary Axe building, more commonly referred to as the Gherkin. Designed by Norman Foster, the behemoth structure is located in London’s main financial district. Opened in April 2004 it is considered London’s first environmentally sustainable tall building.
With 40 floors, and standing almost 600 tall, the Gherk handily beats the Torre Agbar in the “Whose is bigger?” competition. Even more impressive, the maximum circumference of 30 St Mary Axe is only two meters less than its height.
Ypsilanti Water Tower – Ypsilanti, Michigan
Unlike its uncut styled European counterparts, Ypsilanti Water Tower offers a circumcised version of the male member. Affectionately known as “the brick dick” by locals, the building was designed by William R. Coats in the late 1800s.
What it may lack in size compared to its more modern brethren across the Atlantic, is made up for in accolades; the tower has the distinction of being voted the world’s most phallic structure by Cabinet Magazine.
Pedestrian Barriers – Keizer, Oregon
As much as the Torre Agbar, Gherkin and Ypsilanti tower are celebrated for their resemblance to the privy member, not everyone is thrilled with the idea of being surrounded by concrete cocks. Back in 2007 the City of Keizer, Oregon ran into trouble after they installed a group of protective cement barriers that certain members of the community felt were a bit too erotic for public consumption.
A total of 52 pylons at a cost of $18,000 were installed to improve pedestrian safety. After a number of residents complained that the posts resemble male genitalia, the city came up with a somewhat novel solution – retrofitting the posts with metal collars and chains that run between them. Kinky!
