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Attempts @ SEX (+18)
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<blockquote data-quote="casper_fms" data-source="post: 4338660" data-attributes="member: 79855"><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>To My Dearest Wife, </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often: </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>We will wake the kids - 54 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>It's too late - 15 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>I'm too tired - 42 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>It's too early - 12 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>It's too hot - 18 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>Pretending to be asleep - 31 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>The neighbors will hear - 9 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>Headache or backache - 26 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>Sunburn - 10 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>Your mother will hear us - 9 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>Not in the mood - 21 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>Watching the late show - 17 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>Too sore - 26 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>New hairdo - 6 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>Wrong time of the month - 14 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we?? </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="color: Orange"><strong>Love, Your Hubby </strong></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="casper_fms, post: 4338660, member: 79855"] [COLOR="Orange"][B]To My Dearest Wife, During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often: We will wake the kids - 54 times It's too late - 15 times I'm too tired - 42 times It's too early - 12 times It's too hot - 18 times Pretending to be asleep - 31 times The neighbors will hear - 9 times Headache or backache - 26 times Sunburn - 10 times Your mother will hear us - 9 times Not in the mood - 21 times Watching the late show - 17 times Too sore - 26 times New hairdo - 6 times Wrong time of the month - 14 times You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we?? Love, Your Hubby [/B][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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