Husband texts to wife on cell.. "Hi, what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "Bloody English Language!
Angry wife to her husband
An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:
"Where d Hell Are You ...?"
Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace
n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ...
"O
Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love! Husband: I ‘m in the Pub Just Next To That Shop
A Special Package for Business Men.
An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free.
After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"
Husband was seriously ill
Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood,
don’t discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don’t demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?
Wife:- .No chance for u to survive
An intelligent wife
''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much
That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"
New SIM to surprise her husband
Woman Buys A New Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room.
She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: "Hello Darling"
The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: "Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..
Cool message by a wife
Cool Msg by a woman: Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children,
I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"
Sweet demand by kid
A Sweet demand by a kid.
A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came n asked - what happen son?
Kid said-I can’t adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.
Lion bounced on wife
In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..
I will think about it
When a married man says "I'll think about it",
What he really means that, He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..
Habit of talking in sleep
A Lady to Doctor:
My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what shud i give him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake
Part & Art of living
Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...
But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.
What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.
Husband, wife & spare tyre
HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle. If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further
Moral: Always Keep a SPARE TYRE....
Similarity between chewing gum & begum
What's the similarity between chewing gum & begum (wife) ??
Both are sweet at the beginning and become tasteless, shapeless and chipku in the end..
Too late for garbage
Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled:Not Yet. Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.
What if you don't see me for 2 days?
A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled:
"how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldn’t believe his luck'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didn’t see her......
Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....
On Thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.
Who is guilty (Husband / Wife)?
Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts: "Up! Quick! My husband is back!" Man gets up,
jumps out of the window, hurts himself, and then realizes: "Damn, I am the husband!"
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN
Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt, Tsunamis to devastate, Hurricanes to sway around & no one teaches
How to choose a Wife, NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.
Dream of receiving jewellery & cloths
Wife: last night I had a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill!!!
Recently fired stock trader
A recently fired stock trader said ...
"This is worse than divorce... I have lost everything & I still have my wife..."
Message of the year
Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple...
A woman does not have a wife..!!!
Why did u shoot ur wife?
Judge: why did u shoot ur wife instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.
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some are sarcastic 
