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<blockquote data-quote="KARR" data-source="post: 4192949" data-attributes="member: 183683"><p>Got this from an E mail. repost nan sorry. <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/wink.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #008000">BRAND NEW of UDURAWANA - never heard before !</span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #800000">Enjoy reading.</span></span></span></em></strong></p><p><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #800000"></span></span></span></em></strong></p><p><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #800000"></span></span></span></em></strong><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><strong><span style="color: Black">Name of the car</span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><strong><span style="color: #800000">(Udurawana's friend bought a Toyota Corolla)</span></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><strong></strong></span></span></strong>Udurawana : What is the name of your car ? </p><p> Friend : I forgot the name, but starts with "T". </p><p>Udurawana : Ohoo your car starts with Tea, and my car starts with Petrol. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="color: Black"><strong><strong>Udurawana with a computer</strong></strong></span> </p><p></p><p>Udurawana joined new job & got a chance of working with a computer for the 1st time.</p><p>1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. </p><p> Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. </p><p>Udurawana : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">Udurawana's SWOT analysis </span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>1. Strength : My wife.</p><p>2. Weakness : My neighbor's wife.</p><p>3. Opportunity : When My neighbor is on tour. </p><p>4. Threat : When I am on tour</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">Who is the boss ??</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>Udurawana was tired of being bossed around by his wife; so he went to a psychiatrist.</p><p> </p><p>The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.</p><p> </p><p>Udurawana stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said,</p><p> </p><p>"From now on, I want you to know that *I* am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. </p><p> </p><p>Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair ...." </p><p> </p><p>"The funeral director," said his wife.</p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">Flute</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>Udurawana : Hey man ! why did you give this useless flute to my son ?</p><p>Shopkeeper : What happened, sir ?</p><p>Udurawana : what happened ? this flute is full of holes....!!! ! </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">Break Into the House</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>Udurawana went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. </p><p>"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant. </p><p>"No, no,no!" said Udurawana. "I just want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!" </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">Hearing</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>Udurawana had serious hearing problems for a number of years. </p><p>He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.</p><p> </p><p>He went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." </p><p></p><p>Udurawana replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!" </p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">Communication</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>Udurawan & his friend tired of mobile & decide to use pigeons. </p><p>One day a pigeon reaches Udurawana without message. </p><p>Angry Udurawana calls his friend & asks</p><p> " Is this a miss call ???????????? "</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">Mother tongue.</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>Son(while filling up a form) : Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?</p><p>Udurawana : Very long! </p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">Door bell</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>A lady calls Udurawana for repairing door bell. </p><p>Udurawana doesn't turns up for 4 days. </p><p>Lady calls again.</p><p>Udurawana replies: I came 4 days, pressed the bell, but no one came out. </p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">Lost key</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black"></span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>Udurawana : I have swallowed a key. </p><p>Doctor: When? </p><p>Udurawana : 3 months back! </p><p>Doctor: What were you doing till now? </p><p>Udurawana : I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too </p><p> </p><p></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">Name of dogs</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>Udurawana who had acquired two new dogs, was visiting his friend, </p><p>and the friend asked what their names were. </p><p>Udurawana responded by saying that one was named "Rolex" and one was named "Gemex".</p><p> His friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"</p><p>"They're watch dogs!" answered Udurawana. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">What is further away</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>Udurawana & neighbor living in Kandy were sitting one night on a bench talking..... ...</p><p>The neighbor says to Udurawana, </p><p>"Which do you think is further away..... Colombo or the Moon ?" </p><p> Udurawana turns and says " Colombo "</p><p>"Why ?????" The neighbor asks</p><p>"Can you see Colombo from here ????" Udurawana replies . </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">The act of unlocking</span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>A customer arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, They were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. </p><p> He went to the service department and found the mechanic Udurawana. </p><p></p><p>Udurawana working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. </p><p>As the customer watched from the passenger's side, he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. </p><p> "Hey," he announced to the technician, "It`s open!" </p><p>"I know," answered Udurawana. "I already got that side. Now I am trying to open driver's side " </p><p></p><p></p><p><strong><strong><span style="color: Black">Well prepared</span></strong></strong></p><p> <strong><strong></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong></strong></strong>Mrs Udurawana phoned Udurawana in the office and said: "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner." </p><p></p><p>"Good" replied Udurawana, "make sure she's prepared well". </p><p></p><p><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/P.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":P" title=":P :P" data-shortname=":P" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KARR, post: 4192949, member: 183683"] Got this from an E mail. repost nan sorry. ;) [B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][COLOR=#008000]BRAND NEW of UDURAWANA - never heard before ![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][I][FONT=Arial][SIZE=4][COLOR=#800000]Enjoy reading. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][B][COLOR=Black]Name of the car[/COLOR] [COLOR=#800000](Udurawana's friend bought a Toyota Corolla)[/COLOR] [/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/B]Udurawana : What is the name of your car ? Friend : I forgot the name, but starts with "T". Udurawana : Ohoo your car starts with Tea, and my car starts with Petrol. [COLOR=Black][B][B]Udurawana with a computer[/B][/B][/COLOR] Udurawana joined new job & got a chance of working with a computer for the 1st time. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. Udurawana : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright. [B][B][COLOR=Black]Udurawana's SWOT analysis [/COLOR] [/B][/B]1. Strength : My wife. 2. Weakness : My neighbor's wife. 3. Opportunity : When My neighbor is on tour. 4. Threat : When I am on tour [B][B][COLOR=Black]Who is the boss ??[/COLOR] [/B][/B]Udurawana was tired of being bossed around by his wife; so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. Udurawana stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that *I* am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair ...." "The funeral director," said his wife. [B][B][COLOR=Black]Flute[/COLOR] [/B][/B]Udurawana : Hey man ! why did you give this useless flute to my son ? Shopkeeper : What happened, sir ? Udurawana : what happened ? this flute is full of holes....!!! ! [B][B][COLOR=Black]Break Into the House[/COLOR] [/B][/B]Udurawana went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant. "No, no,no!" said Udurawana. "I just want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!" [B][B][COLOR=Black]Hearing[/COLOR] [/B][/B]Udurawana had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%. He went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." Udurawana replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!" [B][B][COLOR=Black]Communication[/COLOR] [/B][/B]Udurawan & his friend tired of mobile & decide to use pigeons. One day a pigeon reaches Udurawana without message. Angry Udurawana calls his friend & asks " Is this a miss call ???????????? " [B][B][COLOR=Black]Mother tongue.[/COLOR] [/B][/B]Son(while filling up a form) : Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.? Udurawana : Very long! [B][B][COLOR=Black]Door bell[/COLOR] [/B][/B]A lady calls Udurawana for repairing door bell. Udurawana doesn't turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again. Udurawana replies: I came 4 days, pressed the bell, but no one came out. [B][B][COLOR=Black]Lost key [/COLOR] [/B][/B]Udurawana : I have swallowed a key. Doctor: When? Udurawana : 3 months back! Doctor: What were you doing till now? Udurawana : I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too [B][B][COLOR=Black]Name of dogs[/COLOR] [/B][/B]Udurawana who had acquired two new dogs, was visiting his friend, and the friend asked what their names were. Udurawana responded by saying that one was named "Rolex" and one was named "Gemex". His friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "They're watch dogs!" answered Udurawana. [B][B][COLOR=Black]What is further away[/COLOR] [/B][/B]Udurawana & neighbor living in Kandy were sitting one night on a bench talking..... ... The neighbor says to Udurawana, "Which do you think is further away..... Colombo or the Moon ?" Udurawana turns and says " Colombo " "Why ?????" The neighbor asks "Can you see Colombo from here ????" Udurawana replies . [B][B][COLOR=Black]The act of unlocking[/COLOR] [/B][/B]A customer arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, They were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. He went to the service department and found the mechanic Udurawana. Udurawana working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As the customer watched from the passenger's side, he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," he announced to the technician, "It`s open!" "I know," answered Udurawana. "I already got that side. Now I am trying to open driver's side " [B][B][COLOR=Black]Well prepared[/COLOR] [/B][/B]Mrs Udurawana phoned Udurawana in the office and said: "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner." "Good" replied Udurawana, "make sure she's prepared well". :P [/QUOTE]
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