British Hospitality!
Perera, a Sri Lankan citizen aged 72, is visiting London for the first time.
He decides to skip his afternoon siesta and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.
After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class neighbourhood. Big, stately residences ... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all ... no public toilets. He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness beers and all that trouble with his prostate.
Perera finds a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies Perera, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public toilet."
“Ah, yes," said the bobby, "Just follow me."
He leads him to a back delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.
"In there," points the bobby. "Whiz away, anywhere for as long as you want."
Perera enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. There are manicured lawns, statues, fountains, sculptured hedges and huge beds of gorgeous flowers all in perfect bloom.
Since he had the bobby's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.
As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was really decent of you. Is that what you call 'British Hospitality'?"
"No sir," replied the bobby, "that is what we call the Sri Lanka High Commission and it does not come under English law!!!
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Trump's visit to primary school.....
Donald Trump was visiting a primary school in Orlando and visited a 4th grade class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr.Trump if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.'
So our illustrious POTUS asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," said Trump, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained Trump. "That's what we would call great loss."
The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Trump searched the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher held her breath.
In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Trump, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss... and you can bet your sweet ass it wouldn't be an accident either!"
The teacher left the room..
Perera, a Sri Lankan citizen aged 72, is visiting London for the first time.
He decides to skip his afternoon siesta and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.
After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class neighbourhood. Big, stately residences ... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all ... no public toilets. He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness beers and all that trouble with his prostate.
Perera finds a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies Perera, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public toilet."
“Ah, yes," said the bobby, "Just follow me."
He leads him to a back delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.
"In there," points the bobby. "Whiz away, anywhere for as long as you want."
Perera enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. There are manicured lawns, statues, fountains, sculptured hedges and huge beds of gorgeous flowers all in perfect bloom.
Since he had the bobby's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.
As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was really decent of you. Is that what you call 'British Hospitality'?"
"No sir," replied the bobby, "that is what we call the Sri Lanka High Commission and it does not come under English law!!!
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Trump's visit to primary school.....
Donald Trump was visiting a primary school in Orlando and visited a 4th grade class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr.Trump if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.'
So our illustrious POTUS asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," said Trump, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained Trump. "That's what we would call great loss."
The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Trump searched the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher held her breath.
In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Trump, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss... and you can bet your sweet ass it wouldn't be an accident either!"
The teacher left the room..
