Codependency

KishanW

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Apr 12, 2007
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Codependency
codependancy.jpg
Codependency checklist:

  • Do you feel compelled to help people solve their problems or by trying to take care of their feelings?

  • Do you find it easier to feel and express anger about injustices done to others than about injustices done to you?

  • Do you feel safest and most comfortable when you are giving to others?

  • Do you feel insecure and guilty when someone gives to you?

  • Do you feel empty, bored and worthless if you don't have someone else to take care of, a problem to solve, or a crisis to deal with?

  • Are you often unable to stop talking, thinking and worrying about other people and their problems?

  • Do you lose interest in your own life when you are in love?

  • Do you stay in relationships that don't work and tolerate abuse in order to keep people loving you?

  • Do you leave bad relationships only to form new ones that don't work, either?

Signs of Codependency:
(According to Melody Beattie, Author of Codependency No More)
  • Being unable to leave a relationship because it is familiar, even though you know it is depriving and hurtful.

  • Feeling deserving of love but usually finding people who can't love.

  • Feeling the relationship is your "fault" and feeling afraid to express critical, angry feelings. As a result, you are not able to trust your real self to emerge in a relationship.

  • People with codependency may have trouble saying no.

  • May have trouble asking for help.

  • May tailor their actions and conversation around getting attention and approval from others feel inferior to others/hold a lot of self-doubt.

  • May have high expectations from others, most especially from significant others, and usually get highly angry or irritated when they don't meet those expectations.

  • May focus a lot of mental time and attention on other people, especially significant others.

  • May have difficulty maintaining a stable relationship with a partner.

  • May be in and out of highly volatile (big ups and downs) relationships.

Can people with Codependency recover?
  • Learning skills, taking a good look at themselves and their actions, and allowing the necessary TIME to make changes

  • Codependency can be tackled by yourself with motivation, discipline, and education.

  • Counseling can make this easier by pointing out problems and non-helpful behaviors.

  • Counseling gives you a chance to process your plans and progress on a weekly basis.

(All the information is being taken from a project done by my friend Ella Williams for General Psychology Course 2008 - winter.)