Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u going?
Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight ?
Man: My wife...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a
building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight ?
Man: My wife...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a
building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
