Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master
of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much
that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he
is going thru hell.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
**********
Every Wife Is A 'Mistress" For Her Husband. "Miss" For One
Hour & "Stress" For the Rest 23 Hours..!.
**********
There Are Two Times When A Man Doesn't Understand A Woman Before Marriage AndAfter Marriage.
**********
Wife : I Will Die.
Husband : I Will Also Die.
Wife : Why Will You Die ?
Husband : Because I Can't Bear That Much Happiness..!.
**********
My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences. He
Thought He Was God, And I Didn't.
**********
Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet Those Waiting Outside Are
Desperate To Get In & Those Inside Are Desperate To Come
Out.
**********
Text Messaging :
Husband Sends The Following Message To His Wife
My Love,
If You're Sleeping, Send Me Your Dreams.
If You're Smiling, Send Me Your Smile.
If You're Crying, Send Me Your Tears.
I Love You.
Wife Texted Back :
I'm In The Toilet,
What Should I Send You?
**********
Whisky Is A Brilliant Invention. One Double And You Start
Feeling Single Again.
**********
A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A Curse
He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years.
The Wizard Says, "Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me
The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You."
The Man Says Without Hesitation, "I Now Pronounce You Man
And Wife."
**********
Husband Searching Keywords On Google `How To Tackle
Wife?` Google Search Result, `Still Searching`.
**********
Husband Throwing Darts At His Wife’s Photo And Not Even A
Single One Hitting The Target..
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband : “Honey What
Are You Doing.. Husband: “MISSING YOU”..
**********
A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. "Rabbi, Something Terrible
Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It."
The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"
The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."
The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's
poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk To Her, I'll
See What I Can Find Out And I'll Let You Know."
The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well I Spoke To Her For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?"
The Man Said Yes
The Rabbi Replied,
"Take The poison"...!
You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master
of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much
that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he
is going thru hell.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
**********
Every Wife Is A 'Mistress" For Her Husband. "Miss" For One
Hour & "Stress" For the Rest 23 Hours..!.
**********
There Are Two Times When A Man Doesn't Understand A Woman Before Marriage AndAfter Marriage.
**********
Wife : I Will Die.
Husband : I Will Also Die.
Wife : Why Will You Die ?
Husband : Because I Can't Bear That Much Happiness..!.
**********
My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences. He
Thought He Was God, And I Didn't.
**********
Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet Those Waiting Outside Are
Desperate To Get In & Those Inside Are Desperate To Come
Out.
**********
Text Messaging :
Husband Sends The Following Message To His Wife
My Love,
If You're Sleeping, Send Me Your Dreams.
If You're Smiling, Send Me Your Smile.
If You're Crying, Send Me Your Tears.
I Love You.
Wife Texted Back :
I'm In The Toilet,
What Should I Send You?
**********
Whisky Is A Brilliant Invention. One Double And You Start
Feeling Single Again.
**********
A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A Curse
He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years.
The Wizard Says, "Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me
The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You."
The Man Says Without Hesitation, "I Now Pronounce You Man
And Wife."
**********
Husband Searching Keywords On Google `How To Tackle
Wife?` Google Search Result, `Still Searching`.
**********
Husband Throwing Darts At His Wife’s Photo And Not Even A
Single One Hitting The Target..
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband : “Honey What
Are You Doing.. Husband: “MISSING YOU”..
**********
A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. "Rabbi, Something Terrible
Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It."
The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"
The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."
The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's
poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk To Her, I'll
See What I Can Find Out And I'll Let You Know."
The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well I Spoke To Her For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?"
The Man Said Yes
The Rabbi Replied,
"Take The poison"...!
