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<blockquote data-quote="KaalaGola" data-source="post: 12216256" data-attributes="member: 249733"><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has, </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>you wish you had ordered that.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>----------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Man: Is there any way for long life?</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Dr: Get married.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Man: Will it help?</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>and then he turns them into Wives.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>If u r married please ignore this msg,</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>for everyone else: Happy Independence Day</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>something you say.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>electronic banking. It's called marriage.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Girlfriends r like chocolates,</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>taste good anytime.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>------------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>of Women'?</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>------------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Q: Why dogs don't marry?</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>------------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>is going thru hell.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #37830a"><strong>A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence! </strong></span></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a">When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him </span></strong><strong><span style="color: #37830a">keep her.</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"></span></strong></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">**********</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #008000">Every Wife Is A 'Mistress" For Her Husband. "Miss" For One </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #008000">Hour & "Stress" For the Rest 23 Hours..!.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">**********</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800000"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800000">There Are Two Times When A Man Doesn't Understand A Woman Before Marriage AndAfter Marriage.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">**********</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #ff00ff"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #ff00ff">Wife : I Will Die.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #ff00ff"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #ff00ff">Husband : I Will Also Die.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #ff00ff"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #ff00ff">Wife : Why Will You Die ?</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #ff00ff"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #ff00ff">Husband : Because I Can't Bear That Much Happiness..!.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">**********</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800080">My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences. He </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800080">Thought He Was God, And I Didn't.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800080"></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">**********</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #424200"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #424200"></span><span style="color: #800000">Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet Those Waiting Outside Are</span></span> </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800000">Desperate To Get In & Those Inside Are Desperate To Come </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800000">Out.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">**********</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #0000ff">Text Messaging :</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #007d7d"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #007d7d">Husband Sends The Following Message To His Wife</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #00ff00"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #00ff00"></span><span style="color: #003300">My Love,</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #626200"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #626200">If You're Sleeping, Send Me Your Dreams.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #ff0000">If You're Smiling, Send Me Your Smile.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004f00">If You're Crying, Send Me Your Tears.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #000080">I Love You.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #ff00ff">Wife Texted Back :</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #578ba4">I'm In The Toilet,</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #623100">What Should I Send You?</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800080">**********</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #008040">Whisky Is A Brilliant Invention. One Double And You Start </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #008040">Feeling Single Again.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800080">**********</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #005cb9">A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A Curse </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #005cb9">He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years.</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #ff0000">The Wizard Says, "Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #ff0000">The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You."</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #623100">The Man Says Without Hesitation, "I Now Pronounce You Man </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #623100">And Wife."</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800080">**********</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800000">Husband Searching Keywords On Google `How To Tackle </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800000">Wife?` Google Search Result, `Still Searching`.</span></span> </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800080">**********</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #578ba4">Husband Throwing Darts At His Wife’s Photo And Not Even A </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #578ba4">Single One Hitting The Target..</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #578ba4"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800080">From Another Room Wife Called The Husband : “Honey What </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800080">Are You Doing.. Husband: “MISSING YOU”..</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800080"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #800080">**********</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. "Rabbi, Something Terrible </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">Is </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It."</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?"</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">poisoning me, what should I do?"</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk To Her, I'll </span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">See What I Can Find Out And I'll Let You Know."</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well I Spoke To Her </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?"</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">The Man Said Yes</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">The Rabbi Replied,</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: #004080">"Take The poison"...!</span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #37830a"></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KaalaGola, post: 12216256, member: 249733"] [COLOR=#37830a][B]Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. [/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#37830a][B]You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has, [/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#37830a][B]you wish you had ordered that. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women [/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#37830a][B]and then he turns them into Wives. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about [/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#37830a][B]something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than [/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#37830a][B]electronic banking. It's called marriage. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime. Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently. Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master [/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#37830a][B]of Women'? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much [/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#37830a][B]that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he [/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#37830a][B]is going thru hell. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other [/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#37830a][B]ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence! [/B][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=#37830a]When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him [/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#37830a]keep her. [/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#37830a][/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=#37830a] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]********** [COLOR=#008000]Every Wife Is A 'Mistress" For Her Husband. "Miss" For One [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#008000]Hour & "Stress" For the Rest 23 Hours..!.[/COLOR] [/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS] **********[/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#800000] There Are Two Times When A Man Doesn't Understand A Woman Before Marriage AndAfter Marriage.[/COLOR] [/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS] **********[/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#ff00ff] Wife : I Will Die. Husband : I Will Also Die. Wife : Why Will You Die ? Husband : Because I Can't Bear That Much Happiness..!.[/COLOR] [/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS] **********[/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [COLOR=#800080]My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences. He [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#800080]Thought He Was God, And I Didn't. [/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS] **********[/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#424200] [/COLOR][COLOR=#800000]Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet Those Waiting Outside Are[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#800000]Desperate To Get In & Those Inside Are Desperate To Come [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#800000]Out.[/COLOR] [/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS] **********[/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#0000ff] Text Messaging :[/COLOR] [COLOR=#007d7d] Husband Sends The Following Message To His Wife[/COLOR] [COLOR=#00ff00] [/COLOR][COLOR=#003300]My Love,[/COLOR] [COLOR=#626200] If You're Sleeping, Send Me Your Dreams.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000]If You're Smiling, Send Me Your Smile.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#004f00]If You're Crying, Send Me Your Tears.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]I Love You.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff00ff]Wife Texted Back :[/COLOR] [COLOR=#578ba4]I'm In The Toilet,[/COLOR] [COLOR=#623100]What Should I Send You?[/COLOR] [/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [COLOR=#800080]**********[/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [COLOR=#008040]Whisky Is A Brilliant Invention. One Double And You Start [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#008040]Feeling Single Again.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#800080]**********[/COLOR] [COLOR=#005cb9]A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A Curse [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#005cb9]He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#ff0000]The Wizard Says, "Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#ff0000]The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You."[/COLOR] [COLOR=#623100]The Man Says Without Hesitation, "I Now Pronounce You Man [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#623100]And Wife."[/COLOR] [COLOR=#800080]**********[/COLOR] [COLOR=#800000]Husband Searching Keywords On Google `How To Tackle [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#800000]Wife?` Google Search Result, `Still Searching`.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#800000][/COLOR] [COLOR=#800080]**********[/COLOR] [COLOR=#578ba4]Husband Throwing Darts At His Wife’s Photo And Not Even A [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#578ba4]Single One Hitting The Target.. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#800080]From Another Room Wife Called The Husband : “Honey What [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#800080]Are You Doing.. Husband: “MISSING YOU”..[/COLOR] [COLOR=#800080] **********[/COLOR] [COLOR=#004080]A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. "Rabbi, Something Terrible [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#004080]Is [/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#004080]Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It." The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?" The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me." The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#004080]poisoning me, what should I do?" The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk To Her, I'll [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#004080]See What I Can Find Out And I'll Let You Know." The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well I Spoke To Her [/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#004080]For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?" The Man Said Yes The Rabbi Replied, "Take The poison"...![/COLOR][/FONT] [/COLOR][/B] [/QUOTE]
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