“Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so… maybe calm down.”
“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions.” -
“Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”
“If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.”
“A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.”
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.”
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” -
“Just because you are unique doesn't mean you are useful.”
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” -
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
“Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.”
“Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.”
“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
“Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.”
“There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.”
“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions.” -
“Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”
“If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.”
“A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.”
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.”
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” -
“Just because you are unique doesn't mean you are useful.”
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” -
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
“Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.”
“Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.”
“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
“Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.”
“There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.”
