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Message: <blockquote data-quote="gaveen5555" data-source="post: 8260239" data-attributes="member: 80328">The woodcutter and the axe Version 2010 . . .Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programson his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. Heused to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell inthe river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (thewoodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month ofrigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in theriver.As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match boxand asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack ofcomputer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him allthree items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her,"Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers beforebringing up my own ?"The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupiddonkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and theBillennium, the latest computers from IBM!". So saying, she disappeared withthe Pentium!!Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better keepyour mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouthand remove all doubt . . .Boss to English TranslationWhat your boss says and what he really meansDo you ever feel a trip to your boss’s office is like a trip to a foreign country? Nice view, but no speaka dee English? In order to ensure that none of the buck passing, put- downing, or one- upping is lost in translation, make sure to bring along this cheat sheet so you know what the big enchilada is really trying to say.“Great job on the report!”Translation: “I’m taking credit for your work.”“I have to attend an off-site meeting.”Translation: “I’m having an affair.”“Let me give you some broadstroke ideas and you can fill in the rest.”Translation: “I still haven’t learned how to create an Excel document.”“Headquarters has assured me we will not be affected by the merger.”Translation: “You are going to be fired.”“I’m not sure if what you are suggesting is in alignment with our core competencies.”Translation: “What exactly do we do again?”“This office is a family and my door is always open if you ever need to powwow with Papa Bear.”Translation: “I am a tool.”“I’ll be out of the office for a couple hours with senior management, but you can reach me on my mobile.”Translation: “I’m playing golf.”“I’ll be off-site and unreachable for the rest of the afternoon.”Translation: “I’m playing golf and I expect to be very, very drunk.”“I think we should order in some lunch for the team.”Translation: “None of you are getting a raise. Enjoy your pizza.”“I don’t want to have to micromanage this whole operation!”Translation: “I’m the boss because I made good business contacts at my Ivy League university; I don’t know how to actually do things.”“This came down from up top.”Translation: “I have no real power.”“I can’t give you an answer at this moment. Let me survey the situation and see what we can leverage out of it.”Translation: “Oh God, I wish I was still in sales!”“It’s good to see you take such bold initiative!”Translation: “You are a threat to me. You will be fired the next time we so much as run out of coffee.”“I’ll think about it.”Translation: “I’ll tell you no in an e-mail, long after I’ve left the office.”“Did you finish those projections I asked you about on Friday?”Translation: “I completely forgot to ask you about the projections on Friday, and I’m hoping your memory is even worse than mine.”“This is a very sensitive issue.”Translation: “I may need you to shred some documents.”“Let’s push the boundaries on this one. We need something really innovative! Throw out the conventions, I want something edgy!”Translation: “Present only safe, traditional ideas to me. I wouldn’t know what to do with innovation if my life depended on it.”“We’re going to be pulling some long hours and I’ll be right here with the rest of you.”Translation: “My home life is miserable.”“I hate to be the bearer of bad news.”Translation: “Disappointing you is the only pleasure I have left in my dead-end, crappy job.”</blockquote>

Verification: Nawa warak dahaya keeyada? (Namaya wadi kireema dahaya)

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