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Message: <blockquote data-quote="x-pert" data-source="post: 669537" data-attributes="member: 837">3 Easy Ways to Die :    Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.    Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.    Love Someone Truly - You will die daily. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells      her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :      Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD    After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY  Three FASTEST means of Communication :      1. Tele-Phone     2. Tele-Vision     3. Tell to Woman       Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.  A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.    Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.     Moral : BE SPECIFIC Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.       Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.      Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.      Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.      Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.     If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.  Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.     Answer : On their MARRIAGE. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.  Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness -     Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.  Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.  Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake</blockquote>

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