There has been a few jokes about Ukraine & Russia recently and they keep coming in.. Here are a couple of them with another one. 
Three Men Captured by Female Savages!
They are told their *icks would be removed in a manner appropriate to their jobs.
The first was a lumberjack, so his would be chopped off.
The second was a butcher, so his would be sliced off.
The third man started laughing. The females asked what was so funny, and he replied, "I work for Dyson!".
The Accident -
President Putin and his driver were on their way to Kyiv in a car when all of a sudden they hit a pig near a farmhouse, killing it instantly.
Putin told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.
"What happened to you?" asked Putin.
"Well, the farmer gave me the Horilka (Ukraininan Vodka), his wife gave me a box of cigars and their 19-year-old and 21-year-old daughters made mad passionate love to me simultaneously.
"My God, what did you tell them?" asks Putin.
The driver replies, "I'm president Putin’s driver, and I just killed the pig."
The Hill -
There are some Russian soldiers marching....They hear a voice shout from over a hill,
“I bet one Ukrainian can beat ten Russians!”
The Russian sergeant, thinking that it would be easy, sent ten men over the hill to fight. They heard a fighting and noise. No Russian soldiers came back. After a minute they heard the voice again,
“I bet 1 Ukrainian can beat 100 Russians!”
The sergeant, getting more annoyed now, decided to send some of his men over, to finish this Ukrainian off. After a while of noise and bangs, no Russian soldiers came back, and the voice shouted again,
“I bet 1 Ukrainian can beat 1000 Russians!”
The sergeant, thinking that 1 soldier could not possibly beat 1000, sent his troops over. Again, there was lots of noise, but then, silence.
1 Russian soldier returned this time, bloody and bruised, barely walking. The soldier said:
“Don’t send any more men over; there’s actually 2 Ukrainians.”
The Difference -
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
Three Men Captured by Female Savages!
They are told their *icks would be removed in a manner appropriate to their jobs.
The first was a lumberjack, so his would be chopped off.
The second was a butcher, so his would be sliced off.
The third man started laughing. The females asked what was so funny, and he replied, "I work for Dyson!".
The Accident -
President Putin and his driver were on their way to Kyiv in a car when all of a sudden they hit a pig near a farmhouse, killing it instantly.
Putin told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.
"What happened to you?" asked Putin.
"Well, the farmer gave me the Horilka (Ukraininan Vodka), his wife gave me a box of cigars and their 19-year-old and 21-year-old daughters made mad passionate love to me simultaneously.
"My God, what did you tell them?" asks Putin.
The driver replies, "I'm president Putin’s driver, and I just killed the pig."
The Hill -
There are some Russian soldiers marching....They hear a voice shout from over a hill,
“I bet one Ukrainian can beat ten Russians!”
The Russian sergeant, thinking that it would be easy, sent ten men over the hill to fight. They heard a fighting and noise. No Russian soldiers came back. After a minute they heard the voice again,
“I bet 1 Ukrainian can beat 100 Russians!”
The sergeant, getting more annoyed now, decided to send some of his men over, to finish this Ukrainian off. After a while of noise and bangs, no Russian soldiers came back, and the voice shouted again,
“I bet 1 Ukrainian can beat 1000 Russians!”
The sergeant, thinking that 1 soldier could not possibly beat 1000, sent his troops over. Again, there was lots of noise, but then, silence.
1 Russian soldier returned this time, bloody and bruised, barely walking. The soldier said:
“Don’t send any more men over; there’s actually 2 Ukrainians.”
The Difference -
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
