Funny /Men

hacker

Junior member
  • May 22, 2006
    35
    1
    8
    TO ALL THE BRIGHT AND WONDERFUL WOMEN OF THE WORLD



    15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MUM, YOUR

    DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC, ETC



    1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.



    2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.



    3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.



    4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.



    5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway



    6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, that you can tell them apart



    7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.



    8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types



    9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

    10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.



    11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.



    12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.



    13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.



    14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his

    15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

    Send this to 5 Bright Women to make their day!

    Pass it to a few "good men" too!!
     

    hacker

    Junior member
  • May 22, 2006
    35
    1
    8
    Call Center Replies LOL!!

    PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE cALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO
    MUCH......FOR JUST
    BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:

    1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the
    Open Desktop."

    Customer "Ok."

    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

    Customer: "No."

    Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a
    pop-up menu?"

    Customer "No."

    Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you
    have done up until
    this point?"

    Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I
    wrote 'click'."

    --------------------------------------------------
    2) Customer: "I received the software update you
    sent, but I am still
    getting the same error message."

    Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

    Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to
    get it to work?"

    --------------------------------------------------

    3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing
    Microsoft Word."

    Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

    Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."

    Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me
    what it says."

    Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and
    Recovery disk'."

    Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

    Customer:: "What?"

    Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

    Customer: "No..."

    --------------------------------------------------

    4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your
    software?"

    Tech Support:: ?!%#$

    --------------------------------------------------

    5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side
    of the screen,
    canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

    Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from
    there?"

    --------------------------------------------------

    6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you
    have?"

    Customer:: "A white one."

    --------------------------------------------------

    7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."

    Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

    --------------------------------------------------

    8). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right
    now?"

    Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got
    me at the grocery store."

    --------------------------------------------------

    9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you
    running?"

    Customer: "Pentium."

    --------------------------------------------------

    10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I
    performed an illegal abortion."

    --------------------------------------------------

    11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

    --------------------------------------------------

    12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

    --------------------------------------------------

    13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I
    urgently need to
    print document, but the computer won't boot
    properly."

    Tech Support: "What does it say?"

    Customer: "Something about an error and non-system
    disk."

    Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a
    floppy inside?"

    Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's
    an Intel inside."

    --------------------------------------------------

    14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a
    problem. We're open
    24 hours."

    Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

    --------------------------------------------------

    15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"

    Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

    Tech Support:: "Well?"

    Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

    --------------------------------------------------

    16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech
    support to report that
    his computer is faulty.

    Tech: What's the problem?

    User: There is smoke coming out of the power
    supply.

    Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

    User: No, I don't! I just need to change the
    startup files.

    Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need
    to replace it.

    User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to
    change the startup
    and it will fix the
    problem! All I need is for you to tell me the
    command.

    10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he
    is right. The tech
    is frustrated and fed up.

    Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our
    customers this, but there
    is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the
    problem.

    User: I knew it!

    Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end
    of the CONFIG.SYS.

    Letme know how it goes.

    10 minutes later.

    User: It didn't work. The power supply is still
    smoking.

    Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

    User: MS-DOS 6.22.

    Tech: That's your problem there. That version of
    DOS didn't come with
    NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch
    that will give you
    the file. Let me know how it goes.

    1 hour later.

    User: I need a new power supply.

    Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

    User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about
    what you said, and he
    started asking questions about the make of power
    supply.

    Tech: Then what did he say?

    User: He told me that my power supply isn't
    compatible with NOSMOKE.

    -------------------------------------------------
    17) customer care officer:I need a product
    identification no: right
    now and may I help u in finding it out?
    Cust: sure
    CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My
    Computer'?
    Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find
    your computer?
     

    ama1407

    Member
    Aug 17, 2006
    1,106
    0
    0
    nice jokes dude
    dont ever try to work in call centers.
    if u dont have house then work there,:yes: so after 2 months u can easly enter to hospital free of charge:D :D :D :D