Funny *SMS* Mega Thread

[kandahar]

I wish life was a remote.
Play the easy times.
Pause the good times.
Fast forward the bullshit.
Rewind the memories. =)



Girl- which computer do u have?
Boy- I have a computer with intel core i7 processor at 3.3 ghz, windows 7, 64 bit, 8gb ram & nvidia gtx 560 graphics card B)

Boy- which computer do YOU have???
Girl- A PINK ONE !!!!; =))



After robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing?
Clerk: Yes.
Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u?
2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!



READ THIS SCARY STORY IF YOU DARE
On a rainy day,
an old man was standing with a book for sale.
A young man came to buy.
He bought the book for Rs.3000.
Old man advised
“DONT OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK othrwise YOU’ll face problem”
Man finished the book with great fear but didnt open the last page.
But,after a week,
Out of curiousity he opend the last page and..
he almost fainted to see..
Retail Price: Rs 30/-

 

[kandahar]

Judge: How can you prove you were not speeding your car?
Man: Sir, I was on the way to bring back my Wife from her mother's home!
Judge: That's all, case dismissed.



Sales Ad at a Store-
'You are my one and only' valentine cards,
Now on sale: 4 for $5.



Girl sitting on a park bench.
Funny Beggar: Hi Darling...!
She angrily: How dare u call me as darling....?
Beggar: Then what r u doing on my bed.........



I like you...
Because
1. You are never boring.
2. You know how to bring smile to my face.
3. You are always on my side.
4. You are perfect.
5. You always get fooled by me, like now.

 

[kandahar]

Two Ladies Fighting For A Seat In A Bus..

Bus Conductor: The Older One Should Sit Here

Both Looked At Each Other
And The Seat Remained Empty



I Like your smile becoz......
.
.

.

.
My favorite color is "YELLOW"!!



In a Grammar class. .
.
Teacher:- "HE does not like girls". .
.
What is 'He' in this sentence. . ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
Student:- Gay!!!



Facebook is the second
most popular word that
starts with "F" and ends
with "K".
Can anyone tell me the first word?

 

[Xcluzive89]

 

[kandahar]

If I were to make a dictionary:
CUTE = you;
SWEET = you;
THOUGHTFUL = you;
GOOD LOOKING = you;
GORGEOUS = you;
LIAR = me!



1day sardar saw a dream, that someone killed him. Next day he closed his
icici bank account. Why?
Becoz of icici's slogan: "we make ur dreams come true".



Dad to Son : When I beat u how do u control your anger.
son: I start cleaning toilet.
Dad: how does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean with ur tooth brush.

 

[kandahar]

World's Smallest resignation letter?
Respected sir,
I luv ur wife.



A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy says thanks for the warning!



Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave

 

[shaviha34]

rep++
thawa dapan machoo

 

[chamantha2u]

ela

 

[kandahar]

rep++
thawa dapan machoo

Thanks Machan onna rep Back Kara