>>Enjoy!!
>>
>>The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
>>Massachusetts at Lowell, engineering dept.'s chemistry mid-term. The
>>answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
>>with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
>>the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>>
>>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
>>(absorbs heat)?
>>
>>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
>>(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
>>variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
>>
>>
>>
>>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>>need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
>>at which
>>they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
>>soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>>As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
>>religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
>>that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
>>Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
>>belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
>>Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
>>of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>>
>>Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
>>Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
>>stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
>>are added.
>>
>>This gives
>>two possibilities:
>>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>>enter Hell, then the temperature and the pressure in Hell will increase
>>until all Hell breaks loose.
>>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>>Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>>
>>So which is it?
>>
>>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>>that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take
>>into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2
>>must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
>>frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
>>over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
>>therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
>>existence
>>of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
>>Oh my God."
>>
>>THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
>>
>>
>>
>>The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
>>Massachusetts at Lowell, engineering dept.'s chemistry mid-term. The
>>answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
>>with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
>>the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>>
>>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
>>(absorbs heat)?
>>
>>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
>>(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
>>variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
>>
>>
>>
>>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>>need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
>>at which
>>they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
>>soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>>As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
>>religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
>>that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
>>Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
>>belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
>>Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
>>of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>>
>>Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
>>Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
>>stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
>>are added.
>>
>>This gives
>>two possibilities:
>>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>>enter Hell, then the temperature and the pressure in Hell will increase
>>until all Hell breaks loose.
>>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>>Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>>
>>So which is it?
>>
>>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>>that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take
>>into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2
>>must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
>>frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
>>over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
>>therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
>>existence
>>of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
>>Oh my God."
>>
>>THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
>>
>>
