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Message: <blockquote data-quote="jungle lion" data-source="post: 8710697" data-attributes="member: 317817">Hillary Clinton dies and goes to Heaven. She meets St. Peter at the Gates,and notices thousands of clocks. "What are all these clocks for?" she asksSt. Peter. "Each person has one," he replied. "They start at midnight, andevery time someone tells a lie, it moves ahead one minute. This one isMother Teresa's. She never lied, so it never moved. This one is GeorgeWashington's. He told only two,so it is at two minutes past midnight."Hillary looks around and asks,"So, where is Bill's clock?" "Oh ,"St. Peterchuckled, "Jesus has that one in his office.He's using it as a ceilingfan."==== 2 =====Hilary is not feeling well.She goes to her doctor and gets a completephysical, only to find out that she is pregnant.She is furious and can'tbelieve this has happened.She calls the White House and gets Bill on thephone, and immediately begins toberate him, screaming:"How could you havelet this happen? With all of the troublegoing on right now, you go and getme pregnant!!! How could you?!I just found out I am pregnant andit is your fault! How could you??? Whathave you got to say???"There is nothing but silence on the phone.She screams again: "CAN YOU HEARME???Bill's quiet voice comes on in a barelyaudible whisper..."Who is this?"======== 3 =========The wives of four presidents andprime minister are talking together abouthow a penis is called in their language.The wife of Tony Blair says inEngland people call it a gentleman,because it stands up when women areentering.The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russiayou call it a patriot, because younever know if it will hit you onthe front or on the back side.The wife of Chirac says in Franceyou call it a curtain, because it goesdown after the act.Well, the wife of Clinton says inthe USA you call it a rumor, because itgoes from mouth to mouth======= 4 =========Bill and Monica are in the Whitehousewhen Bill invites Monica into the Ovaloffice because he wants to showher a clock. While in the office Clintonpulls down his pants and whips out his unit.Monica gasps, Mr. Clinton that'snot a clock, it's a cock!Bill replies, well Monica if you put 2hands and a face on it, it's a clock==== 5 ==========Jerry Falwell was seated next toPresident Clinton on a recent flight. Afterthe plane was airborne, the flightattendant came around for drink orders.The President asked for a whisky& soda, which was brought and placed beforehim.The attendant then asked theminister if he would also like a drink.The minister replied in disgust,"Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped by abrazen whore, than letliquor touch these lips!"The President then handed his drinkback to the attendant and said, "I'msorry, I didn't know there was a choice.========= 6 =========One Sunday morning, Chelsea burstinto the living quarters at the WhiteHouse and said, "Mom & Dad,I have some great news for you.I am gettingmarried to the greatest hunk inWashington! He lives in Georgetownand hisname is Matt."After dinner, the President tookChelsea aside. "Honey, I have to talk withyou. Your Mother andI have been married a long time.She's a wonderful wife butshe's never offered much excitement in thebedroom, so I have fooled aroundwith other women a lot. Matt is actuallyyour half-brother, and I'm afraidyou can't marry him." Chelsea washeartbroken, but after eight monthsshe eventually started dating again.A year later she came home andvery proudly announced,"Robert asked me tomarry him! We're getting marriedin June." Again, her father insisted onanother private conversation andbroke the sad news. "Robert is yourhalf-brother too, Honey. I'm wfully sorry about this." Chelsea becamefurious upon hearingwhat her Dad had to say.She decided to go to herMother and tell her about his numerousinfidelities. After Chelsea toldher Mom everything, she concluded crying,"Dad has done so much harm.I guess I'm never going to get married. Everytime I fall in love, Dad tellsme the guy is my half-brother."Hillary just shook her head and replied,"Don't pay any attention to what hesays dear. He's not really your father."MACHANZLA HONDAI KIALA HITHENAVANAM REP+ DEELAMA YANNA<img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL    :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL    :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL    :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL    :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL    :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL    :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /></blockquote>

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