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Message: <blockquote data-quote="The Jilmart" data-source="post: 22071176" data-attributes="member: 557958">මේ ටිකවත් කරලා බලමු ............1. Prepare the groundwork for the marriageYour mother and your wife are the two most important women in your life. Each one has her place in your heart. You must do your bit to ensure that neither feels neglected. They both need your respect and time. Take an interest in your wife’s career, family and friends. Talk to her about the relationship you share with your mother and the duties you feel you have to fulfill towards her. In the same way, show your mother that you marriage does not mean that she will be neglected. Ask her to welcome your wife into the family and to ensure that she is given the love and respect she is entitled to. Tell her that she is gaining a daughter and that she should not begrudge the time you spend together as husband and wife. Involve your mother in your plans.2. Do not take sidesYou have no business to interfere between your mother and wife. Let them sort out their problems. Don’t carry tales or confront either one just because the other says so.3. Do not show your angerThere will be times, it is very normal, when you lose your temper at either one. But try to avoid showing your displeasure of one in front of the other. And more specifically don’t criticize one in front of the other.4. Don’t say hurtful thingsSometimes you might think you are just joking but the joke might not be to your mother, or your wife’s liking. You might be showing one down, or making fun of something, which has been told to you confidentially. At such times, hurt feelings are natural.5. Make the boundaries clearThe areas of control need to be demarcated early on. You must make it clear to your mother that she should not interfere in your wife’s sphere or space. She should refrain from criticizing your wife’s sense of dressing, expenditure, cooking, her friends and family and the way she raises the children. Point out that this will just create unnecessary strain, in the same manner, your wife must understand if you help out financially or devote some time to your mother. Make it clear that they both are a priority for you.6. Remember important datesSmall gestures like remembering birthdays, anniversaries, special days like Mother’s Day etc., and buying small gifts, showing your love. Don’t only buy gifts for your wife and ignore your mother and vice versa. This will make a bad situation worse.7. Enjoy quality time as a familyYou have get-togethers with friends and enjoy yourselves. Make the effort to sometimes join in for a little while in your parents’ group or participate in activities which you and your parents can enjoy together. You can also try to include your parents, siblings, cousins and wife in family get togethers or outings.8. Be a good son and a good husbandRemember a lot depends on your handling of the situation. Since the bone of contention is you, the onus is also upon you to maintain peace in the house. Do not be a good son without also being a good husband.</blockquote>

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