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Message: <blockquote data-quote="askky5" data-source="post: 2832510" data-attributes="member: 89876">I think Santa Claus is a woman....I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's  a she.  Thinkabout it.  Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal,and I have a tough time believing a guy could  possibly pull it all off!For starters, the vast majority of men do not even think about selecting giftsuntil Christmas Eve.  It's as if they are all frozen in some kind ofEbenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazingcalm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products,socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves.  You might think thiswould send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's anenormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.)  Onthis count alone, I am convinced Santa is a woman.  Surely, if he were a man,everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotatingmusical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there.  First, there would beno reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rearbumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed,desperate claims that buck season had beenextended.  Blitzen's rack would already be  on the way to the taxidermist.Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he would still have transportationproblems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and cloudsand then refuse to stop and ask for directions.  Add to this the fact thatthere would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-likeSanta would stop to inspect  and repoint bricks in the flue.  He would alsoneed to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas  fireplace, and get underevery Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright90-degree angle.Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:- Men can't pack a bag.- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with allthose elves.- Men don't answer their mail.- Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, asanything remotely resembling a "bowlful of  jelly."- Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.- Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their  ability topick up women.- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men.........-  Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. -  Definiteguy.- Cupid flies around carrying weapons.- Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test.  Butnot St. Nick.  Not a chance.  As  long as we have each other, good  will,peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas  Song," itprobably makes little difference what gender Santa is.I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!!<img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/love.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":love:" title="Love    :love:" data-shortname=":love:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/love.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":love:" title="Love    :love:" data-shortname=":love:" />Askky<img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/love.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":love:" title="Love    :love:" data-shortname=":love:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/love.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":love:" title="Love    :love:" data-shortname=":love:" /></blockquote>

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