Flies
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting Flies" he responded.
"Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.
Senior moment...... ....
First old man: You want to go for a walk?
Second old man: Isn't it windy?
First old man: No, it's Thursday.
Second old man: Me, too. Let's go get a beer.
Entertainment Joke.
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, “Olive or Twist?”
Marriage Joke.
The husband had just finished reading a new book, 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'.
He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up
To his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the sex that I want. After that, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then, after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
His wife replied,
"The funeral director would be my guess."
Miscellaneous Joke.
Three guys are sitting in a bar having a few drinks together.
One guy says, "So tell me, what do you do to drive your wife wild?"
"Well," says the second guy, "After making love, I go out to the garden and pick some roses. Then I take the petals off and sprinkle them all over her body. Then I blow them off with a soft breath that drives her wild."
Next guy says, "After making love, I get some baby oil and massage it gently all over her body, and that drives her wild!"
Last guy says, "When me and the old lady are through, I jump out of bed and wipe my p.... on the curtain. Drives her f.... nuts!"
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting Flies" he responded.
"Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.
Senior moment...... ....
First old man: You want to go for a walk?
Second old man: Isn't it windy?
First old man: No, it's Thursday.
Second old man: Me, too. Let's go get a beer.
Entertainment Joke.
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, “Olive or Twist?”
Marriage Joke.
The husband had just finished reading a new book, 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'.
He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up
To his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the sex that I want. After that, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then, after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
His wife replied,
"The funeral director would be my guess."
Miscellaneous Joke.
Three guys are sitting in a bar having a few drinks together.
One guy says, "So tell me, what do you do to drive your wife wild?"
"Well," says the second guy, "After making love, I go out to the garden and pick some roses. Then I take the petals off and sprinkle them all over her body. Then I blow them off with a soft breath that drives her wild."
Next guy says, "After making love, I get some baby oil and massage it gently all over her body, and that drives her wild!"
Last guy says, "When me and the old lady are through, I jump out of bed and wipe my p.... on the curtain. Drives her f.... nuts!"
Some are repost.. First one is funny.. 
