HERE R SOME JOKES 4 UR BUSY MIND.........
President Chandrika were talking one day.
Putin said, "We were the first in space!"
Bush said, "We were the first on the moon!"
Chandrika said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!"
Bush and Putin looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! you'll burn up!" said Putin.
Chandrika replied, "We're not stupid, like you all. We're going at
night!"
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss.
By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts,
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
"Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."
decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and
each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They
question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of
extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest,
killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no
apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The SLP goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten
bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!'
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: - - -silence - -
HUSBAND: "oh shit"
(repost by i....)
- Russian President Putin, American president George Bush, and
President Chandrika were talking one day.
Putin said, "We were the first in space!"
Bush said, "We were the first on the moon!"
Chandrika said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!"
Bush and Putin looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! you'll burn up!" said Putin.
Chandrika replied, "We're not stupid, like you all. We're going at
night!"
- My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters
- A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week."
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss.
By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts,
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
"Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."
- The SLP (Sri Lankan Police), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to
decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and
each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They
question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of
extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest,
killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no
apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The SLP goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten
bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!'
- SLIP OF TONGUE
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: - - -silence - -
HUSBAND: "oh shit"
(repost by i....)
