Little Jonny
Little Johnny was 10 years old and like other boys his age, he was rather
curious about everything. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting'
from the older boys at school, and he wondered what it was, and how it was
done.
One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered.
Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the
curtains one night, and watch his older sister and her boyfriend, who she
explained were "courting."
This he did. The following morning, Johnny described everything to his
mother, in great detail.
"Well, Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off
most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured Sis
must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have
thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart,
just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor
because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart and really had to search
for it.
I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started
panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must of been cold,
because he put it under her skirt to get it warmed up. About this time, Sis
got worse, and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down t
oward the end of the couch.
This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him
she really felt hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick-- a
big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his
pants, and it stood up, and he had to keep one hand on it to keep it from
getting away.
When Sis saw it, she got really scared and her eyes got big, and her mouth
fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said
it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones
down at the lake.
Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All
of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands, and held it tight while he took
a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from
biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs, so she could get a scissor --
lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a
fight.
Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch.
I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. After a
while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and su
re
enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and
some of its insides were hanging out.
Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went
back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By
golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again.
I
guess eels are like cats -- they have nine lives or something. This time,
Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35
minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead now for
sure, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the
toilet."
