Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="raichu" data-source="post: 8267524" data-attributes="member: 125044">1. NUDITYI was driving with my three young children onewarm summer evening when a woman in the convertibleahead of us stood up and waved. She was'nt wearing anything!AsI was reeling from the shock,I heard my 5-year-oldshout from the back seat,"Mom!That lady isn't wearinga seatbelt!"2. HONESTYMy son Zachary,4,came screaming out of thebathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in thetoilet.So I fished it out and threw it in thegarbage.Zachary stood there thinking for a moment,then ran to my bathroom and came out with mytoothbrush.He held it up and said with a charminglittle smile,"We better throw this one out too then,cause it fell i n the toilet a few days ago."3. OPINIONSOn the first day of school,a first-graderhanded his teacher a note from his mother.The noteread,"The opinions expressed by this child are notnecessarily those of his parents."4. KETCHUPA woman was trying hard to get the ketchupout of the jar.During her struggle the phone rang soshe asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer thephone."It's the minister,Mommy,"the child said.Then she added,"Mommy can't come to the phone to talkto you right now.She's hitting the bottle."5. MORE NUDITYA little boy got lost at the YMCA and foundhimself in the women's locker room.When he wasspotted,the room burst into shrieks,with ladiesgrabbing towels and running for cover.The littleboy watched in amazement and then asked,"What's thematter,haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"6. POLICE # 1While taking a routine vandalism report at anelementary school,I was interrupted by a little girlabout 6 years old.Looking up and down at my uniform,sheasked,"Are you a cop?""Yes,"I answered and continued writing thereport."My mother said if I ever needed help I shouldask the police. Is that right?""Yes,that's right," I told her."Well,then," she said as she extended her foottoward me,"would you please tie my shoe?"7.POLICE # 2It was the end of the day when I parked mypolice van in front of the station. As I gathered myequipment,my K-9 partner,Jake,was barking,and I saw alittle boy staring in at me"Is that a dog you got backthere?" he asked."It sure is,"I replied.Puzzled,the boy lookedat me and then towards the back of the van.Finally he said,"What'd he do?"8. ELDERLYWhile working for an organiz ation thatdelivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,I used to take my4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.She wasunfailingly intrigued by the various appliances ofold age,particularly the canes,walkers andwheelchairs.One day I found her staring at a pair offalse teeth soaking in a glass.As I braced myself for the inevitable barrageof questions,she merely turned and whispered,"Thetooth fairy will never believe this!"9. DRESS-UPA little girl was watching her parents dressfor a party.When she saw her dad donning histuxedo,she warned,"Daddy,youshouldn't wear that suit.""And why not, darling?""You know that it always gives you a headachethe next morning."10. DEATHWhile walking along the sidewalk in front ofhis church,our minister heard the intoning of a prayerthat nearly made his collar wiltApparently,his 5-year-old son and hisplaymates had found a dead robin.Feeling that properburial should be performed,they had secured a smallbox and cotton batting,then dug a hole and madeready for the disposal of the deceased.The minister'sson was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and withsonorous dignity intoned his version of what hethought his father always said:Glory be unto theFaaaather,and unto the Sonnn,and into the hole hegooooes."1 1. SCHOOLA little girl had just finished her first weekof school."I'm just wasting my time," she said to hermother."I can't read,I can't write and they won't letme talk!"12. BIBLEA little boy opened the big family bible.Hewas fascinated as he fingered through the oldpages.Suddenly,something fell out of the Bible.Hepicked up the object and looked at it.What he sawwas an old leaf that had been pressed in between thepages"Mama,look what I found,"the boy called out."What have you got there,dear?"With astonishment in the young boy's voice,heanswered,"I think it's Adam's underwear."HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.-- Alan, age 10No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.-- Kirsten, age 10==============================================WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.-- Camille, age 10No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.-- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)==============================================HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.-- Derrick, age 8==============================================WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?Both don't want any more kids.-- Lori, age 8==============================================WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.-- Martin,age 10==============================================WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the news- papers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.-- Craig, age 9==============================================WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.-- Curt, age 7The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.--Howard,age 8==============================================IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)==============================================HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?--Kelvin, age 8==============================================And the #1 Favorite is........HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.-- Ricky, age 10Dont forget to leave a comment and if you like it give a +Rep too ! <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/happy.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Happy    :)" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/cool.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":cool:" title="Cool    :cool:" data-shortname=":cool:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /></blockquote>

Verification: Haya warak paha keeyada? (haya wadi kireema paha)

Top Bottom