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Message: <blockquote data-quote="DJ.Parker" data-source="post: 68158" data-attributes="member: 1924">747 Full of LawyersQ: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.==================================================================A Few Good LawyersA lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, hefeels apair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turnsaround."What the hell do you think you're doing?""I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waitinginline.""Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front ofme,do you?"=========================================================================Buried LawyersQ: What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck insand?A: Not enough sand.======================================================Catfish and LawyersWhat's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is justafish==============================================================Deathbed LawyerWhy was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?He was looking for loopholes=================================================================Engineering In HellAn engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks hisdossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Prettysoon,the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, andstarts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've gotairconditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is aprettypopular guy.One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So,how's it going down there in hell?"Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great.   We've got airconditioningand flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what thisengineeris going to come up with next."God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- heshouldnever have gotten down there; send him up here."Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'mkeeping him."God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where areYOUgoing to get a lawyer?"=====================================================================A man walks into a bar and he's really pissed. The bartender gives him adrink and asks what the problem is. All he says is, "All lawyers areassholes."A man sitting in the corner shouts, "I take offense to that!"The pissed-off guy asks him, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"He replies, "No, I'm an asshole."<img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /></blockquote>

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