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<blockquote data-quote="Hayao" data-source="post: 7319058" data-attributes="member: 238183">Wife:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'What are you doing?' &nbsp;&nbsp;Husband:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Oh! Nothing. &nbsp;&nbsp;Wife:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Nothing ...?&nbsp; You've been reading our marriage &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; certificate for an hour.' &nbsp;&nbsp;Husband:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'I was looking for the expiration date.' &nbsp;&nbsp; --------------------------------------------------------------------------------&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;Wife:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Do you want dinner?' &nbsp;&nbsp;Husband:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Sure! What are my choices?' &nbsp;&nbsp;Wife:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Yes or no.' &nbsp;&nbsp; --------------------------------------------------------------------------------&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;Wife:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.&nbsp; Why?' &nbsp;&nbsp;Husband:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; at your picture and the problem disappears.' &nbsp;&nbsp;Wife:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'You see how miraculous, wonderful and powerful I am&nbsp;&nbsp; for &nbsp;you?' &nbsp;&nbsp;Husband:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; problem can there be greater than this one?' &nbsp;&nbsp; --------------------------------------------------------------------------------&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;Son:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' &nbsp;&nbsp;Mom:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Well, you have done the right thing.' &nbsp;&nbsp;Son:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' &nbsp;&nbsp; --------------------------------------------------------------------------------&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. &nbsp;&nbsp;The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.' &nbsp;&nbsp; --------------------------------------------------------------------------------&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; or my sexy body?' &nbsp;&nbsp;He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of&nbsp;&nbsp; humor!' &nbsp;&nbsp; --------------------------------------------------------------------------------&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head&nbsp;&nbsp; with a frying pan. &nbsp;'What was that for?' the man asked.&nbsp; &nbsp;The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny&nbsp;&nbsp; on it that I found in your pants pocket'.&nbsp; &nbsp;The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was&nbsp;&nbsp; the name of the horse I bet on' &nbsp;&nbsp;The wife apologized and went on with the housework. &nbsp;&nbsp;Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the&nbsp;&nbsp; head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. &nbsp;Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. &nbsp;&nbsp;Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Hayao, post: 7319058, member: 238183"] Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband: Oh! Nothing. Wife: 'Nothing ...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wife: 'Do you want dinner?' Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?' Wife: 'Yes or no.' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?' Husband: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.' Wife: 'You see how miraculous, wonderful and powerful I am for you?' Husband: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?' He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name [B]Jenny[/B] on it that I found in your pants pocket'. The man then said 'When I was at the races last week [B]Jenny[/B] was the name of the horse I bet on' The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned' [/QUOTE]

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