DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
>
> During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How
> do I know if I married the right person?'
> I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It
> depends. Is that your husband?'
> In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'
>
> Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing
> on your mind.
>
> Here's the answer.
> EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your
> spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
> their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).
>
> Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely
> natural and spontaneous experience.
> You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love...
> Because it's happening TO YOU.
>
> People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the
> imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there;
> doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
>
> Falling in love is easy . It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But
> after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's
> the natural cycle of EVERY relationship . Slowly but surely, phone calls
> become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it
> happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead of being cute, drive
> you nuts.
>
> The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think
> about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the
> initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
> subsequent stage.
>
> At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the
> right person?'
> And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had,
> you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.
> This is when marriages breakdown . People blame their spouse for their
> unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
>
> Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the
> most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship,
> excessive TV, or abusive substances.
>
> But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies
> within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
> You could.
>
> And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few
> years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
>
> THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
> LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
>
> SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just
> happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in
> and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because
> it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM .
> You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
>
> Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things
> you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
>
> Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are
> also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program
> makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make
> your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and
> apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make'love .
>
> Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.
>
> Remember this always :
>
> 'Destiny determines who walks into your life. It is up to YOU to decide,
>
> . who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'
>
>
>
>
> This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something
> from here...
> Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your
> marriage & relationship & heal your marriages ...
>
>
> During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How
> do I know if I married the right person?'
> I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It
> depends. Is that your husband?'
> In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'
>
> Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing
> on your mind.
>
> Here's the answer.
> EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your
> spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
> their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).
>
> Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely
> natural and spontaneous experience.
> You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love...
> Because it's happening TO YOU.
>
> People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the
> imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there;
> doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
>
> Falling in love is easy . It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But
> after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's
> the natural cycle of EVERY relationship . Slowly but surely, phone calls
> become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it
> happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead of being cute, drive
> you nuts.
>
> The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think
> about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the
> initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
> subsequent stage.
>
> At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the
> right person?'
> And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had,
> you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.
> This is when marriages breakdown . People blame their spouse for their
> unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
>
> Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the
> most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship,
> excessive TV, or abusive substances.
>
> But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies
> within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
> You could.
>
> And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few
> years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
>
> THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
> LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
>
> SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just
> happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in
> and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because
> it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM .
> You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
>
> Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things
> you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
>
> Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are
> also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program
> makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make
> your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and
> apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make'love .
>
> Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.
>
> Remember this always :
>
> 'Destiny determines who walks into your life. It is up to YOU to decide,
>
> . who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'
>
>
>
>
> This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something
> from here...
> Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your
> marriage & relationship & heal your marriages ...
>
