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Message: <blockquote data-quote="mj_shiyaz" data-source="post: 10652216" data-attributes="member: 54795">DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?> > During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How> do I know if I married the right person?'> I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It> depends. Is that your husband?'> In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'> > Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing> on your mind. > > Here's the answer. > EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your> spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked> their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).> > Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely> natural and spontaneous experience.> You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love...> Because it's happening TO YOU.> > People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the> imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there;> doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.> > Falling in love is easy . It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But> after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's> the natural cycle of EVERY relationship . Slowly but surely, phone calls> become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it> happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead of being cute, drive> you nuts.> > The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think> about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the> initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry> subsequent stage. > > At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the> right person?' > And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had,> you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.> This is when marriages breakdown . People blame their spouse for their> unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.> > Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the> most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship,> excessive TV, or abusive substances.> > But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies> within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. > You could. > > And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few> years later. Because (listen carefully to this):> > THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S> LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.> > SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just> happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in> and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because> it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM .> You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. > > Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things> you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.> > Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are> also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program> makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make> your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and> apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make'love .> > Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.> > Remember this always : > > 'Destiny determines who walks into your life. It is up to YOU to decide,> > . who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'> > > > > This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something> from here...> Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your> marriage & relationship & heal your marriages ... ></blockquote>

Verification: Dawasata paya keeyak thibeda?

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