**1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big dick or a good
memory....I don't remember which one I chose.**
**2. My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.**
**3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.**
**4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."**
**5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.**
**6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.**
**7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.**
**8. Virginity can be cured!**
**9. Virginity is not dignity; It's a lack of opportunity.**
**10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you better have a good hand.**
**11. I tried phone sex once but the holes in the dialer were too small.**
**12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.**
**13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?**
** Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.**
**14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was
happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.**
**15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?**
** Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.**
**16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?**
** Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.**
**17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many
men still sleep with their wives!**
memory....I don't remember which one I chose.**
**2. My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.**
**3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.**
**4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."**
**5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.**
**6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.**
**7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.**
**8. Virginity can be cured!**
**9. Virginity is not dignity; It's a lack of opportunity.**
**10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good
partner, you better have a good hand.**
**11. I tried phone sex once but the holes in the dialer were too small.**
**12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.**
**13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?**
** Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.**
**14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was
happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.**
**15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?**
** Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.**
**16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?**
** Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.**
**17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many
men still sleep with their wives!**
