Modern dictionary or thesaurus

milindasenarath

Well-known member
  • Mar 23, 2007
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    Sri Lanka
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    CIGARETTE:
    A pinch of tobacco
    rolled in paper
    with fire at one end
    and a fool at the other!

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    MARRIAGE:
    It's an agreement
    wherein
    a man loses his bachelor degree
    and a woman gains her master

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    LECTURE:
    An art of transmitting Information
    from the notes of the lecturer
    to the notes of students
    without passing through the minds
    of either

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    CONFERENCE:
    The confusion of one man
    multiplied by the
    number present

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    COMPROMISE:
    The art of dividing
    a cake in such a way that
    everybody believes
    he got the biggest piece

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    TEARS:
    The hydraulic force by which
    masculine will power is
    defeated by feminine water-power!

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    ECSTASY:
    A feeling when you feel
    you are going to feel
    a feeling
    you have never felt before

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    CLASSIC:
    A book
    which people praise,
    but never read

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    SMILE:
    A curve
    that can set
    a lot of things straight!

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    OFFICE:
    A place
    where you can relax
    after your strenuous
    home life

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    YAWN:
    The only time
    when some married men
    ever get to open
    their mouth

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    EXPERIENCE:
    The name
    men give
    to their
    Mistakes

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    DIPLOMAT:
    A person
    who tells you
    to go to hell
    in such a way
    that you actually look forward
    to the trip

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    OPTIMIST:
    A person
    who while falling
    from EIFFEL TOWER
    says in midway
    "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

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    MISER:
    A person
    who lives poor
    so that
    he can die RICH!

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    FATHER:
    A banker
    provided by
    nature

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    BOSS:
    Someone
    who is early
    when you are late
    and late
    when you are early

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    POLITICIAN:
    One who
    shakes your hand
    before elections
    and your Confidence
    Later

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    DOCTOR:
    A person
    who kills
    your ills
    by pills,
    and kills you
    by his bills!
     
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