More Good Ones
A woman was trying to board a bus, but her skirt was too tight and she
couldn't step up. She reached behind her and lowered the zipper a bit and
tried again. The Skirt was still too tight. She reached behind her and
lowered the zipper some more. She still couldn't get on the bus and
lowered the zipper a third time.
All of the sudden, she felt two hands on her butt, which proceeded to push
her up onto the bus.
She spun around, with anger in her eyes and said very indignantly, "Sir, I
do not know you well enough for you to behave in such a manner!!"
The man smiled coyly and said, "Lady, I don't know you well enough for you
to unzip my fly three times either!"
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One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his
wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned over
and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow
and I want to stay fresh."
Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes
later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again.
This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment
tomorrow too?"
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An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA,
when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of "-ese"
are you ?".
The Japanese, confused and replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you
mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of "-ese" are you ?".
Again, the Japanese was confused over the question.
The American, now irritated, then yell, "What kind of -ese are you ?? Are
you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc..."
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I'm a Japanese!".
A while later, the Japanese turned to the American and asked, "What kind
of "-key" are you ?"
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What you mean what kind of "-key" I am?".
The Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a Yankee ?"
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An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is a savage"
on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote:
"Woman, without her man, is a savage."
The women wrote:
"Woman: Without her, man is a savage."
A woman was trying to board a bus, but her skirt was too tight and she
couldn't step up. She reached behind her and lowered the zipper a bit and
tried again. The Skirt was still too tight. She reached behind her and
lowered the zipper some more. She still couldn't get on the bus and
lowered the zipper a third time.
All of the sudden, she felt two hands on her butt, which proceeded to push
her up onto the bus.
She spun around, with anger in her eyes and said very indignantly, "Sir, I
do not know you well enough for you to behave in such a manner!!"
The man smiled coyly and said, "Lady, I don't know you well enough for you
to unzip my fly three times either!"
-------------------------------------------------------
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his
wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned over
and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow
and I want to stay fresh."
Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes
later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again.
This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment
tomorrow too?"
-------------------------------------------------------
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA,
when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of "-ese"
are you ?".
The Japanese, confused and replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you
mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of "-ese" are you ?".
Again, the Japanese was confused over the question.
The American, now irritated, then yell, "What kind of -ese are you ?? Are
you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc..."
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I'm a Japanese!".
A while later, the Japanese turned to the American and asked, "What kind
of "-key" are you ?"
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What you mean what kind of "-key" I am?".
The Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a Yankee ?"
-------------------------------------------------------
An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is a savage"
on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote:
"Woman, without her man, is a savage."
The women wrote:
"Woman: Without her, man is a savage."
