NEW! Shane Watson becomes a woman....මළ කෙලියයි.ජූලි 7යි..
මළ කෙලියයි.ජූලි 7යි..
NEW! Shane Watson becomes a woman....
Watson refused an interview after reporters erroneously addressed him as ‘Shane’, instead of his newly chosen name, Kylie. However, her Australian teammates were forthcoming in their opinions on the subject, if a little bemused. We gauge their reactions…
The Metrosexual…“For his birthday, he asked us not to buy him any presents, but he always insisted on us playing this really cool game called ‘Drop the Soap’. The aim of the game was to keep hold of a wet bar of soap for as long as possible. Man, Watto was always terrible at that game,” said long-time friend Michael Clarke.
Mr Cricket…“I was always weirded out by Shane around the showers. He seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time staring at our wet bodies, while he would just pout and continue to lather himself – man, that guy went through a lot of lather,” said Michael Hussey, an occasional roommate of Watson. Unprovoked, Hussey then began to reel off cricket trivia: “Man, did you know that WG Grace was the oldest ever Test captain at age 50? And did you know Lawrence Rowe was allergic to grass? Gosh, cricket…what a sport,” as the elder Hussey brother began to check his 2003 batting statistics on his iPhone.
The Douchebag...“I guess the turning point was when Watto asked Kevin Pietersen if he needed any ChapStick last week, when the Poms needed a four to win off the last ball of the match. Ricky [Ponting] told Watto to ‘stop being such a fucken woman,’ at which point he burst into tears and ran off the field, crying like a little girl,” said Brad Haddin, whose sledges from behind the stumps have often hinted at the dubious sexuality of batsmen. “I once told Jimmy Anderson to just lob one up in the air, ‘cos his boyfriend would be waiting for him at home. Shane blanked me for the rest of the day…it all makes sense now.”
The Gay Best Friend…Bowling all-rounder Mitchell Johnson said: “I don’t think I’d be into Watto now that he’s a sheila – I mean, I’d have to think about it, maybe talk to Ricky, considering his experience with ladyboys. One time, Watto was looking at my special area in the showers, and I gave him a cheeky wink, just a par for the course ‘thanks for noticing.’ Also, I sign off my texts to him with ‘xxx…x’, so I hope he doesn’t get the wrong idea – now that he’s a sheila, it would just be weird.”
The Outgoing Captain…“Awww look mate, at the end of the day mate, it’s not too surprising – after all, Watto always refused to wear a box while he was batting, because he preferred to tuck his dick in between his legs. It won’t affect his place in the team. Obviously we don’t let in Aborigines; but there’s nothing saying we can’t play sheilas – that would just be wrong. Besides, in our state, I’m in no position to let go of our best player, even if ‘he’ is a ‘he-she.’”
The Coach…Tim Nielsen was always guarded around Watson’s idiosyncrasies: “I didn’t want to accuse Watson of anything. I assumed he was gay all along, which didn’t concern me one jot, as long as he was performing well. What did concern me was his influence on others. I shudder at the number of times I’ve seen Shane get out, trod back to the dressing room, only to find him playing a casual game of Drop the Soap with Michael [Clarke] and Mitch. Man, Mitch was bloody awful at that game…”
The Pervy Uncle...The final word went to former Australian bowler Shane Warne, who was shown a picture of ‘the new’ Watson. Summarily raising his eyebrows, Warne commented: “8.5; I would. Anything above a ’3′ is fair game for Warney.”
Read more: http://www.thealternativecricketalmanack.com/new-shane-watson-undergoes-gender-reassignment-teammates-not-surprised/#ixzz1GB8yk22P
NEW! Shane Watson becomes a woman....
Shane Watson undergoes gender reassignment;
Teammates ‘not surprised’.
QUEENSLAND – Australian all-rounder Shane Watson was revealed to have undergone a gender reassignment operation earlier this week, fulfilling his lifelong desire to become a biological female.Teammates ‘not surprised’.
Watson refused an interview after reporters erroneously addressed him as ‘Shane’, instead of his newly chosen name, Kylie. However, her Australian teammates were forthcoming in their opinions on the subject, if a little bemused. We gauge their reactions…
The Metrosexual…“For his birthday, he asked us not to buy him any presents, but he always insisted on us playing this really cool game called ‘Drop the Soap’. The aim of the game was to keep hold of a wet bar of soap for as long as possible. Man, Watto was always terrible at that game,” said long-time friend Michael Clarke.
Mr Cricket…“I was always weirded out by Shane around the showers. He seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time staring at our wet bodies, while he would just pout and continue to lather himself – man, that guy went through a lot of lather,” said Michael Hussey, an occasional roommate of Watson. Unprovoked, Hussey then began to reel off cricket trivia: “Man, did you know that WG Grace was the oldest ever Test captain at age 50? And did you know Lawrence Rowe was allergic to grass? Gosh, cricket…what a sport,” as the elder Hussey brother began to check his 2003 batting statistics on his iPhone.
The Gay Best Friend…Bowling all-rounder Mitchell Johnson said: “I don’t think I’d be into Watto now that he’s a sheila – I mean, I’d have to think about it, maybe talk to Ricky, considering his experience with ladyboys. One time, Watto was looking at my special area in the showers, and I gave him a cheeky wink, just a par for the course ‘thanks for noticing.’ Also, I sign off my texts to him with ‘xxx…x’, so I hope he doesn’t get the wrong idea – now that he’s a sheila, it would just be weird.”
The Outgoing Captain…“Awww look mate, at the end of the day mate, it’s not too surprising – after all, Watto always refused to wear a box while he was batting, because he preferred to tuck his dick in between his legs. It won’t affect his place in the team. Obviously we don’t let in Aborigines; but there’s nothing saying we can’t play sheilas – that would just be wrong. Besides, in our state, I’m in no position to let go of our best player, even if ‘he’ is a ‘he-she.’”
The Coach…Tim Nielsen was always guarded around Watson’s idiosyncrasies: “I didn’t want to accuse Watson of anything. I assumed he was gay all along, which didn’t concern me one jot, as long as he was performing well. What did concern me was his influence on others. I shudder at the number of times I’ve seen Shane get out, trod back to the dressing room, only to find him playing a casual game of Drop the Soap with Michael [Clarke] and Mitch. Man, Mitch was bloody awful at that game…”
The Pervy Uncle...The final word went to former Australian bowler Shane Warne, who was shown a picture of ‘the new’ Watson. Summarily raising his eyebrows, Warne commented: “8.5; I would. Anything above a ’3′ is fair game for Warney.”
Read more: http://www.thealternativecricketalmanack.com/new-shane-watson-undergoes-gender-reassignment-teammates-not-surprised/#ixzz1GB8yk22P
