So…now it is time when Bamboos need a laugh:
1)
Fritz Frankfurter, the German tourist, runs into his old friend, Helmut Hamburger – both of them vacationing on Miami Beach. They go to the outdoor beach-bar for a gossip and a few beers.
Suddenly, Fritz chokes on his beer. ”My God!” he splutters. ”Look at that fat, frumpy woman in the green bikini – the one jumping up and down in the sand and waving. That must be the most disgusting sight on the whole beach. Do you think that with all that jumping up and down and waving and leering towards me, she is trying to proposition me?”
”I don’t know,” says Helmut, drinking his beer. ”But if you like, I will go down there and ask her – she is my wife!”
2)
”Mommy! Mommy!” cries Little Albert. ”Can I go into the sea?”
”No, not today, Albert,” replies his mother – ”maybe tomorrow. The sea is far too rough and choppy now – it is too dangerous.”
”But mom,” cries Little Albert, ”daddy is in the sea swimming.”
”I know, dear,” says his mother, ”but daddy has got lots of life insurance!”
3)
One day in Judge Grump’s courtroom, Big Black Leroy is on trial for assault and battery. Boris Babblebrain, the lawyer, is severely cross-examining Leroy, trying to prove the black guy guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Leroy just quietly looks at Boris, and maintains that he merely pushed the plaintiff ”a little bit.” ”Okay,” snaps Babblebrain, ”just how hard?”
”Ah,” replies Leroy, coolly, ”like I said, just a little bit.”
”Now,” badgers Babblebrain, ”for the benefit of the judge and jury, will you please step down here, using me for the subject, and illustrate just how hard a little bit is.”
”Sure,” says Leroy, smiling as he steps down from the witness stand.
Boris is excited, hoping that Leroy will feel intimidated and overdo his demonstration, thereby proving himself guilty.
When Leroy reaches Boris, he suddenly kicks the lawyer as hard as he can in the shins, then seizes him bodily, and with full force, lifts Boris over his head and hurls him across the room.
Turning around from the mess on the floor, Leroy smiles up at Judge Grump and explains, ”Your honor, just about one-tenth that hard!”
4)
Sardar Gurudayal Singh is rumbling along M.G. Road in his old Ambassador car when he gets pulled over by Officer Ghansu of the Poona traffic police.
Officer Ghansu looks inside the car and sees a big black hole in the dashboard.
”What happened to your speedometer?” asks Officer Ghansu.
”I sold it,” replies Sardar Gurudayal Singh. ”I don’t need it any more.”
”What do you mean, you don’t need it any more?” shouts the cop. ”How can you tell how fast you are going?”
”That is easy,” laughs Sardar Gurudayal Singh. ”At twenty miles an hour, the fenders rattle. At thirty, the doors rattle. At forty, my turban rattles. At fifty, my teeth rattle. And at sixty, my teeth fall out!”
All jokes from OSHO’s book; Zen: The Mystery and The Poetry of the Beyond
lol:
