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<blockquote data-quote="northtech" data-source="post: 2591854" data-attributes="member: 8239">1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick&gt; or a good memory.&nbsp; I don't remember what I chose.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from&gt; the condom factory..&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 3. A wife is a sex object.&nbsp; Every time you ask for&gt; sex, she objects.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard&gt; feelings....'&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 5.&nbsp; There are only two four letter words that are&gt; offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop',&gt; unless they are used together.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to&gt; the best thing on earth.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life:&gt; Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 8. Virginity can be cured.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 10. Having sex is like playing bridge.&nbsp; If you&gt; don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good&gt; hand.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 11. I tried phone sex once but the holes in the&gt; dialer were too small.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep&gt; with the enemy.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 14. A couple just married were happy with the whole&gt; thing.&nbsp; He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with&gt; the Thing.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans&gt; life?&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye&gt; contact?&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; A: Breasts don't have eyes.&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your&gt; troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their&gt; wives!!&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;</blockquote>

[QUOTE="northtech, post: 2591854, member: 8239"] 1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick > or a good memory. I don't remember what I chose. > > > > 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from > the condom factory.. > > > > 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for > sex, she objects. > > > > 4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard > feelings....' > > > 5. There are only two four letter words that are > offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', > unless they are used together. > > > > 6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to > the best thing on earth. > > > > 7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: > Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly. > > > > 8. Virginity can be cured. > > > > 9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity. > > > > 10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you > don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good > hand. > > > > 11. I tried phone sex once but the holes in the > dialer were too small. > > > > 12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep > with the enemy. > > > > 13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? > A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under. > > > > 14. A couple just married were happy with the whole > thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with > the Thing. > > > > 15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans > life? > A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't. > > > > 16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye > contact? > A: Breasts don't have eyes. > > > > 17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your > troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their > wives!! > > > > > [/QUOTE]

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