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Political Jokes...around the world..
- Thread starter yoshrox
- Start date
The president […] is walking through a forest and gets lost. He sees a boy:
- Little boy, could you show me the way out of the forest? I'm the president, I'll reward you with a Hero's medal!
- I'll ask my mama.
An hour later:
- Uncle President, and will you give me a postmortem award?
- Why postmortem?
- Because mama said that if I showed you the way, she'd kill me!
One day Bat'ka is driven through a village in his limo. They run over somebody's pig. Bat'ka, an honest person, stops, gives his driver $100 and tells him to find the killed pig's owner and apologize. The driver leaves and isn't back until two hours later, dead drunk. Bat'ka yells at him: “Are you crazy?” The driver replies: “I haven't done anything wrong: I took the money, put the pig into the sack, placed it on my back, walk down the village street and yell - Dear people! I'm Lukashenko's driver and I've just killed this pig! - and suddenly they're all running towards me, with tears of happiness in their eyes, and start pouring me drinks, one after another…”
During the demonstration that took place in Minsk, 500 women, elderly people and children have attacked and hurt 2,000 riot police with snowballs and air balloons. “We assembled for action as ordered, drew our shields close together, and attempted to gently push the protesters away with our riot batons. But they rushed at us violently, as animals, and started beating me on the helmet with flowers, on and on and on, bastards,” one of the victims said and began to cry right away.
- I'll ask my mama.
An hour later:
- Uncle President, and will you give me a postmortem award?
- Why postmortem?
- Because mama said that if I showed you the way, she'd kill me!
One day Bat'ka is driven through a village in his limo. They run over somebody's pig. Bat'ka, an honest person, stops, gives his driver $100 and tells him to find the killed pig's owner and apologize. The driver leaves and isn't back until two hours later, dead drunk. Bat'ka yells at him: “Are you crazy?” The driver replies: “I haven't done anything wrong: I took the money, put the pig into the sack, placed it on my back, walk down the village street and yell - Dear people! I'm Lukashenko's driver and I've just killed this pig! - and suddenly they're all running towards me, with tears of happiness in their eyes, and start pouring me drinks, one after another…”
During the demonstration that took place in Minsk, 500 women, elderly people and children have attacked and hurt 2,000 riot police with snowballs and air balloons. “We assembled for action as ordered, drew our shields close together, and attempted to gently push the protesters away with our riot batons. But they rushed at us violently, as animals, and started beating me on the helmet with flowers, on and on and on, bastards,” one of the victims said and began to cry right away.
Lukashenko has died. A devil greets him and gives him a tour of Paradise. Everything's very righteous-looking there, dignified and calm: birds are singing, flowers are blooming, various decent people are talking to each other. No zest whatsoever.
Lukashenko begins to wonder: and what is it like in Hell? The devil says, “You can see it for yourself!” and shows Hell to him. It's very lively there, beautiful young women are walking around, and life's in full swing in general. Lukashenko gets excited and cries, “I want to be in Hell!”
And finds himself in boiling water right away.
He cries to the devil: “But where is everything that I've seen - girls, fun?”
To which the devil replies, smirking: “I - just like you - have my own [Belarusian TV]!”
Lukashenko begins to wonder: and what is it like in Hell? The devil says, “You can see it for yourself!” and shows Hell to him. It's very lively there, beautiful young women are walking around, and life's in full swing in general. Lukashenko gets excited and cries, “I want to be in Hell!”
And finds himself in boiling water right away.
He cries to the devil: “But where is everything that I've seen - girls, fun?”
To which the devil replies, smirking: “I - just like you - have my own [Belarusian TV]!”
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