Sardar Jokes

[Siyaathu]

I've seen some folks have posted lot of Sardar Jokes on EK. Some people localized Sardar jokes as Amdon or Udurawana jokes.

Anyways here's a collection of Sardar jokes. You won't stop laughing!!
(This post is a 100% copy paste. So every credit should go to the original creators.)



Interviewer: Just imagine you are on the third floor, and it has caught fire, so how will you escape?
Sardar: Its simple. I will stop my imagination!

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Santa Singh: "My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold."
Banta Singh: "Does it work?"
Santa Singh: "I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot bath."

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Manager asked sardar at an interview.
-Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replied: P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

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After returning from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife - Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me “are you a foreigner?”

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One tourist from U.S.A. asked Sardar:
Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!

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Sardar starts shouting in a store......Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper : There is nothing free with this
Sardar: It is written CHOLESTEROL FREE.

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Sardar enters kitchen, opens sugar box, looks inside and closes it. This he does again and again. Why?
Because the doctor told him to check sugar regularly

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Three Sardars were going on a scooter.
Traffic police showed them his hand.
One of the Sardars told: We are already three, sorry, there is no space

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Two Sardars were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them.
One of them throws sand into its eyes, and runs.
Second one stays unmoved.
When asked why he is not running, another Sardar tells: "Why should I be running? It is you who has thrown the sand "

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Bank manager asks Sardar in an interview: "What is cyclone"
Sardar: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"

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Once Sardar brought some tablets and started cutting the edges. Do you know why? He wanted to avoid side effects!

Will post more later....

 

[Siyaathu]

Bus conductor: Ticket, ticket
Sardar: Give two tickets
Conductor: Why two?
Sardar: If I lose one, another will be there
Conductor: What if you lose both?
Sardar: No problem, I have pass...

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A famous Sardar's declaration to the media:
"I will never marry in my life.
And I will advise the same to my children too"

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Teacher: Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773
Sardar: Thank God!! I was born after 1773. Had I born earlier, I would have died...

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MD: I give you driver job. Starting salary is 2000 Rs.
Sardar: Oh, thank you. What is the driving salary and stopping salary?

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Sardar reported for his university final examination, which consists of Yes/No type questions.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails.

Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches his and asks what is going on.

Sardar replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very good."

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Interviewer: Do you know Microsoft Office?
Sardar: No, but I can find it if you give address...

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Sardar bought a lottery ticket for 10 Rs. Luckily Sardar won 10 crores for that.
He went to the shop to collect the prize money. The owner cut the tax and gave him 7 crores.

Sardar: Give me full 10 crores or give my 10 Rs. back

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Sardar was drawing money from ATM.
A person, who was just behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****).
Sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258."

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Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. Why?
The report said, "DELIVERED".

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Sardar fell from first floor. People gathered. One of them asked Sardar: "What happened"
Sardar: "I too don't know.. I came here just now"

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Sardar: Oye.. Mera mobile bill kitna hai ?
Call Centre Girl: Sir, just dial 123 to get your current bill status.
Sardar: Abbey STUPID, current ka nahi mobile ka bill chaahiye !

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Napoleon: There are no words called IMPOSSIBLE and FEAR in my dictionary.
Sardar: What should I do ? You should have checked it before buying

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An Englishman and a Sardar were in a toilet.
Englishman: How do you do ?
Sardar: Good morning ! We remove underwear and do !!

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Sardar1: Did you consult the eye doctor about your eyes ?
Sardar2: Yes, but the doctor was more blind than me.
Sardar1: How do you know ?
Sardar2: He was looking at my eyes with a torch !

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Sardar: What's the guarantee for this mirror ?
Salesman: Drop it from 100 feet height.. it will not break till the 99th feet
Sardar: Amazing ! Pack it

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How do you identify a Sardar in a classroom ?

It is simple.. check who's erasing his notes when the teacher is cleaning the board.

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Sardar ji is buying a TV
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

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Sardar Ji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.

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Sardar ji is filling up a job application
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes

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What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

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Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

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Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

 

[BlAcKIssUeS]

patta

 

[too_little]

keep posting

 

[san1020]

bump

 

[hanrythoms55]

hahahahahahaha so funny joke...nice one..

 

[Siyaathu]

When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror.
Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.

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Sardar was sitting in beach.

American: r u relaxing??

Srd: I m Papu Singh

Another American: r u relaxing??

Srd: No I m Papu Singh.

Srdr left the place in anger. Then Srdr asks one American lying nearby, r u relaxing??

American: yes

Srdr gives a slap & sas, all r searching 4u & u lying here!!

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Breaking News
ATM @ Gulshan-e-Iqbal Is Jammed &
Not In Working Condition
.
.
.
Because
.
.
.
Sardar's Wife Put Hair pin In Machine
When It Said", Enter Ur PIN"

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Sardarji was asked,
what is a adult joke?

Reply came
any joke which is eighteen years old.

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On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him,
"Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?"
Sardar : "Ya sure, from landline or mobile".

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In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it's legs only?
Sardar:I don't know.
Examiner:You failed, what's your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name

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Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking‚¦

 

[Radical78]

 

[Siyaathu]

1st ever intelligent sardar.

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?

sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything

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A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.

Waiter: Oh! you can't get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.

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Sardar got into a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took the ticket and said april fool.
I have pass.

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Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many
coins I have in my pocket?
Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1?
Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them

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Q:- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?

A:- They think their picture is being taken.

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Four guys
1 from Harward:
1 Oxford
1 Texas
&
a Sardar from Pujab university

1 common question:
What is the fastest thing in world?

Oxford:Light
Harvard:Thought
Texas:Blink of an eye
Sardar:Its loose motions,
because last night I was lying in my bed
& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,
it was over!

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Q:Why is a Sardarji standing below
a tube light with a open mouth?

A:Because his doctor advised him
“Todays dinner should be light‚

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A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.

Judge asked :
How will you divide, you have 3 children?

Sardar replied :
Ok! We will apply next year.

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2 Sardars lookin at an Egyptian mummy.

Sardar1:Look so many bandages,
pakka truck accident case hai.

Sardar2: Aaho,
truck number bhi likha hay, BC-1760

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Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days
Guess why?
because somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women.

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A Teacher lecturing on population -
In India after Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.

A Sardar stands up-
we must find & stop her!.

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Sardar's wish : when i die,
I wanna die like my grandpa
who died peacefully in his sleep
not screaming
like all the passengers in the
car he was driving..

 

[SameeraW]

elaz, Rep++

 

[Siyaathu]

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year"

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Sardarji ( to doctor ) : Doctor, I have a problem.
Doctor : What's your problem?
Sardarji : I keep forgetting things.
Doctor : Since when do you have this problem?
Sardarji : What problem?

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Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

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Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

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In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

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A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then a Little Sardarji spoke up: "We are all human beans."

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Judge: why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one
man every week.

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once a room was made by some scientist .,
the specialty of the room was -if anyone speaks out lie he will be killed
to test it three people were brought ...
1-Musharraf
2-Bush
3-a Sardarji

first Musharraf entered and said "i think i love India"........he died
second bush entered & said" i think i love Iraq."...........he died
lastly sardarji entered & said "i think .". & he died

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A friend: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.

Sardar rushed home angrily.

After half an hour, he came back and slapped the friend.
"You fool, he is not my friend."

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Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!


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Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar :- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....