Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 456to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.
Sardar: I think that girl is deaf...
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new
Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- “1 Miss Call".
Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?
Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.
Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.
Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"
Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!.
Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr: Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Sardar: We lost the duplicate key!!
A sardarji invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge loss.
Do you know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher lecturing on population, "In India , after every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid."
A sardarji stands up, "we must find & stop her!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji -why are all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
19 Sardars went to watch a movie. On asking them why they came in a group of 19, they replied that the film was only for above 18!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him why? . . He said "SMILE PLEASE"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "you will go to jail".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly.
A man asks why he does this.
Sardarji:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth ................. WHY?
Because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sardarji and his family to a party.
He introduces as - I am sardar, she is sardarnee.
The boy is my kid and the girl is my Kid-ney.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. Do you know why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sardarji hears, "Santa! Your daughter has died!"
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a romantic date, a sardar's girl friend asks him, "Darling, on our engagement, will you give me a ring?"
He said, Yah Sure. What is your phone number?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.All were busy writing except one Sardarji.He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver you this packet.
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead you could have posted it
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox? He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop. Sardar says," Dr ink quickly"
Wife asks,"Why?"
Sardar says, "Look at their rates! Hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll you divide? You have 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked:" Why are you writing so slowly? Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab .
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing ? . He said-im seeing how i look while sleeping
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 456to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.
Sardar: I think that girl is deaf...
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new
Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- “1 Miss Call".
Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?
Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.
Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.
Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"
Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!.
Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr: Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Sardar: We lost the duplicate key!!
A sardarji invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge loss.
Do you know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher lecturing on population, "In India , after every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid."
A sardarji stands up, "we must find & stop her!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji -why are all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
19 Sardars went to watch a movie. On asking them why they came in a group of 19, they replied that the film was only for above 18!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him why? . . He said "SMILE PLEASE"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "you will go to jail".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly.
A man asks why he does this.
Sardarji:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth ................. WHY?
Because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sardarji and his family to a party.
He introduces as - I am sardar, she is sardarnee.
The boy is my kid and the girl is my Kid-ney.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. Do you know why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sardarji hears, "Santa! Your daughter has died!"
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a romantic date, a sardar's girl friend asks him, "Darling, on our engagement, will you give me a ring?"
He said, Yah Sure. What is your phone number?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.All were busy writing except one Sardarji.He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver you this packet.
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead you could have posted it
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox? He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop. Sardar says," Dr ink quickly"
Wife asks,"Why?"
Sardar says, "Look at their rates! Hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll you divide? You have 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked:" Why are you writing so slowly? Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab .
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing ? . He said-im seeing how i look while sleeping
