1) School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
2) Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that
you can die Rich.
3) Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
4) Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
5) Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
6) Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
7) Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
8) Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
9) Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
10) Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
11) Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
12) Father: A banker provided by nature.
13) Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
caught.
14) Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
15) Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.
16) Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
17) Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
18) Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
19) Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
19) Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
20) Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.
21) Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.
22) Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
23) Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
24) Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
2) Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that
you can die Rich.
3) Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
4) Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
5) Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
6) Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
7) Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
8) Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
9) Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
10) Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
11) Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
12) Father: A banker provided by nature.
13) Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
caught.
14) Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
15) Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.
16) Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
17) Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
18) Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
19) Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
19) Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
20) Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.
21) Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.
22) Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
23) Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
24) Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
