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[Dreamworks_naveen]

Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband's drinking habit?

Woman: Yes, Yes !! An amazing effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Always listen to your wife.

She gives Sound Advice : 99% Sound and 1% Advice.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Santa: If I die, will you remarry?

Jeeto: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?

Santa: No, I'll also stay with your sister.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Children were lined up in the cafeteria of an elementary school for lunch.
At a table was a large pile of apples.

A teacher made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples!"

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Sam and David were sharing their childhood memories.
Sam says: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on the earth unconsciously.

David: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died.
Sam: I don’t remember exactly because I was only 4 yeas old at that time.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Wife: Oh dear when you remove your specks you look like the same cute boy whom I married 20 years back.

Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks and look at you, you also look like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

A group of terrorists hijacked a plane full of politicians.

They called down to ground control with their list of demands and added that if their demands weren't met, they would release one politician every hour.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Patient: Doctor I heard 10 percent of the total patients undergoing this surgery die.

Doctor: Don’t worry man, those 10 percent patients operated by me are already dead. Now it’s the turn of the 90 percent survivors.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Patient: "It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth."

Dentist: "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."

"Don't worry, it won't happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only."

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of cost today.

Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. It will be wonderful if you drink it from an empty cup today.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Interviewer: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' .

he replaced friend with father in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,

SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.

Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?

Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.

Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.

Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says,

"chal", it walks.

He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.

He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......

..... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office...."

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

2 sardars are driving a Car,

one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working,

he puts his head out and says - YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun,

coz it gives light at night when light is needed

& Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Boss : I am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k

Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??

how much is DRIVING salary...?