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[Dreamworks_naveen]

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it`s all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."

"Why complain ?" said the counselor, "You re still getting the same service!"

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Lalu has just removed two front wheels from his TATA Nano alongside road curb.

Parking Cop came and asked Lalu, “What is going on?”

Lalu said, “Go away, don't you see parking sign, it says Parking for Two Wheelers only.”

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Lalu Pundit was reading a book of eternal truth.
He told his wife Pyari, "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Pyari advised, "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Lalu was saying to girl friend Pyari, “I love you” and he fell down on the floor.
Confounded Pyari cried, “How come you fell down?”
Fallen Lalu explained , “ I fell in love with you.”

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Boy friend: You really sing very well.
Girl Friend: Oh no I am just a bathroom singer
Boy friend: Well, then why you and I don't practice singing to-gather.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

An affluent old man marries a beautiful young woman.

Tabloid interviewer asked the woman, “What did it attract you in this Old man that you married him.”

The woman explained, “I was attracted with a big number of dollars and a small number of days ahead.”

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Visiting Sister’s Husband: What is the most spoken about thing in your town.

Wife’s Sister: What was so much talked about in this town, you already took away.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

It takes Thousand workers to build a castle,
Ten Thousand workers to build a city,
Million workers to build a nation,
But it takes only one woman to make a Home Happy.
And that woman is my Maid.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

A friend asked a divorced woman, “When you were divorced you had only Child, How come now you have three children?”

The woman explained, “Well he comes here occasionally to apologize”

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

In an ill_law country in Asia a sign was hanging in bus

For Caution of Carefulness against rude bully drivers:

Whether you climb the bus Or Bus climbs on you Same thing You pay the ticket.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Lalu spoke in love, “Why don't you and I go to some place where there is nobody.”
Pyari flirted, “You won't make any mischief with me there, would you?”

Lalu assured in fright, “Not at all”
Pyari angered, “Then why the hell you want to go to there?”

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Always listen to your wife, she gives sound advice :

99% Sound and 1% Advice….

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.

Wives r like Dal RICE, eaten when there’s no choice.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

A student In a interview:

How does an electric motor run?
Student:dhuurrrr

Interviewer shouts: stop it.
Student: dhurr dhp dp dup dup.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

- There is always a “DRIVE SLOW” board near boy’s schools, but not near girl’s college. Why?

- COZ vehicles automatically go slow.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

One day you’ll be surprised to see ME beside U.
U & ME laughing,
U & ME crying,
U & ME dreaming,
U & ME holding on,
U & ME…

just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

A lady at the far end of the bar waves her arm in the air to get the attention of the waiter and by doing that, exposes her hairy armpit.

Down the other end of the bar is a very drunk man who says "Hey, get the ballerina a drink would you."

"How do you know she's a ballerina?"

"Well, no one else would get their leg up that high."

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

aniya gave matrimonial ad for his daughter, working at a call centre:

"Wanted a suitable match for Chandigarh's highest paid call girl"

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

Girl: Xcuse me brother, that's my seat.

Boy: OK! But I'm not ur brother, my father never f#@ked ur mom.

Girl: True, but my father did !

 

[Dreamworks_naveen]

WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!