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SO I was thinking
- Thread starter scurvy
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Kaduwen kotanawa 
oh no...there is an even better method oh high and noble one.....
drowning in ur own shit.....a faster method would be to die suffocating on the stuff as u eat ur own shit....as drowning requires you to have diarrhea....
and let me offer you my congratulations first...on stop being such a dramatic born loser.....please hurry and select an option...don't let my greetings go to waste....
drowning in ur own shit.....a faster method would be to die suffocating on the stuff as u eat ur own shit....as drowning requires you to have diarrhea....
and let me offer you my congratulations first...on stop being such a dramatic born loser.....please hurry and select an option...don't let my greetings go to waste....
ok to off yourself this is an ED guaranteed method and you will still bring the lulz to the masses even at death...
Stand at the top of a tall structure and make sure that there is something relatively soft such as grass, or a sleeping fat person, below. You should preferably be on the edge of some kind of overhang, such as a bridge.
Next, tie cheese wire around your neck, tight enough that it won't slip off under tension but loose enough not to choke you. Remember, you don't want to die looking like a Michael Hutchence wannabe. Nobody wants to be Michael Hutchence. Even Hutchence hated it.
Anyway, tie the cheese wire to something solid on top of the structure. Make sure that there is a good six or seven feet of slack. Now stand at the edge and glue your hands to the side of your head. If you are under the age of 16, you may wish to get a responsible but sociopathic adult to help you. Wait until your hands are glued solidly to your head. This has the added advantage of stopping you from calling for help if you change your mind (you fucking pussy).
Now jump off the structure. It'll only hurt for a second, when the cheese wire runs out of slack and slices through your neck. The overhang should stop you from bashing your now-severed head against the wall of the structure when the cutting motion jerks your body backwards.
You should hopefully land face down, although this is really out of your hands by now. Unlike your head, which is glued to them. This has the excellent effect of causing whoever finds your body to think that you have pulled your head off.
Guaranteed to break the ice at parties!
Stand at the top of a tall structure and make sure that there is something relatively soft such as grass, or a sleeping fat person, below. You should preferably be on the edge of some kind of overhang, such as a bridge.
Next, tie cheese wire around your neck, tight enough that it won't slip off under tension but loose enough not to choke you. Remember, you don't want to die looking like a Michael Hutchence wannabe. Nobody wants to be Michael Hutchence. Even Hutchence hated it.
Anyway, tie the cheese wire to something solid on top of the structure. Make sure that there is a good six or seven feet of slack. Now stand at the edge and glue your hands to the side of your head. If you are under the age of 16, you may wish to get a responsible but sociopathic adult to help you. Wait until your hands are glued solidly to your head. This has the added advantage of stopping you from calling for help if you change your mind (you fucking pussy).
Now jump off the structure. It'll only hurt for a second, when the cheese wire runs out of slack and slices through your neck. The overhang should stop you from bashing your now-severed head against the wall of the structure when the cutting motion jerks your body backwards.
You should hopefully land face down, although this is really out of your hands by now. Unlike your head, which is glued to them. This has the excellent effect of causing whoever finds your body to think that you have pulled your head off.
Guaranteed to break the ice at parties!
or try this ..they call it the CHRISMASIDE
- Acquire a Santa Claus costume, a suicide bomb, a large bag, and several stuffed animals.
- Around mid-December, fill the bag with the stuffed animals and equip the suicide bomb to yourself underneath your Santa Claus costume.
- Stand on the roof of a fairly tall, but low enough for people to notice you, building above a crowded street.
- Gently toss the stuffed animals over the edge of the roof while shouting, "Ho, ho, ho!" "Merry Christmas!" etc.
- This should draw the attention of several small children. If it doesn't, try to advertise your, "deed," as best you can from the rooftop.
- When you've either:
- Drawn the attention of a substantial amount of children
- Run out of stuffed animals, or
- Drawn the attention of the local authorities, throw yourself over the edge of the building while screaming, Allah!
- When you're roughly 20 feet from the ground, detonate the bomb. If you've performed this correctly, your corpse should be blown to pieces, showering several children with your mutilated remains. This will be talked about for years to come, and will permanently scar the minds of every child who witnesses your heroic act.
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