tech support

Lich

Member
May 4, 2006
11,508
24
0
Warcraft III DOTA Map


Customer: “I’m trying to add an FTP user, and I can’t figure out what to do.”

Me: “Alright, sir. I see that this is on a server for which you declined a support contract. All I can do is to direct you to the help center article that will instruct you how to do this; I can’t add it for you, or walk you through it.”

Customer: “Look, all I’m trying to do is add an FTP user.”

Me: “Sir, when you purchased this server we offered a support contract, which you declined–”

Customer: “I just want to add an FTP user! You should be able to do that for me!”

Me: “–and when you declined the support contract, you had to click on a button to accept full responsibility for managing your server.”

Customer: “This isn’t a server management issue. I’m just trying to add an FTP user.”

Me: “Sir, true or false? You purchased this server from us.”

Customer: “True.”

Me: “You declined the support contract, true or false?”

Customer: “True.”

Me: “And you accepted full responsibility for managing the server, true or false?”

Customer: “True.”

Me: “…so, why are you asking me?”

Customer: “…” *click*
 

Lich

Member
May 4, 2006
11,508
24
0
Warcraft III DOTA Map


(Back story: the customer was getting a blue screen of death on their computer.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling tech support. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I was wondering if you could tell me who general failure is and why he is trying to read the C drive on my computer?”

Me: “Ummm…excuse me?”

Customer: “I said that some guy named General Failure is reading my C drive.”

Me: “…How did you come to this conclusion?”

Customer: “When I booted up my computer I get a big blue screen that says “General failure reading drive C,” and I demand to know who this person is!”

Me: *stifling laughter* “Okay, if you don’t mind I am going to place you on hold for about 10 minutes while I do an investigation as to who this person is…”

(I placed customer on hold and told my co-workers. We laughed our asses off for 10 minutes.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I was able to find some information for you. The bad news is that I wasn’t able to confirm who this ‘General Failure’ is; I am sure he doesn’t work for us. The other thing is that your hard drive is fried, and I would advise you to try to pull any data you can off the drive and invest in a new one. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “Um…no thank you.”

(Customer hangs up and we laugh our asses off some more.)
 

Computer1st

Member
Jul 2, 2009
790
3
0
Matrix


(Back story: the customer was getting a blue screen of death on their computer.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling tech support. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I was wondering if you could tell me who general failure is and why he is trying to read the C drive on my computer?”

Me: “Ummm…excuse me?”

Customer: “I said that some guy named General Failure is reading my C drive.”

Me: “…How did you come to this conclusion?”

Customer: “When I booted up my computer I get a big blue screen that says “General failure reading drive C,” and I demand to know who this person is!”

Me: *stifling laughter* “Okay, if you don’t mind I am going to place you on hold for about 10 minutes while I do an investigation as to who this person is…”

(I placed customer on hold and told my co-workers. We laughed our asses off for 10 minutes.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I was able to find some information for you. The bad news is that I wasn’t able to confirm who this ‘General Failure’ is; I am sure he doesn’t work for us. The other thing is that your hard drive is fried, and I would advise you to try to pull any data you can off the drive and invest in a new one. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “Um…no thank you.”

(Customer hangs up and we laugh our asses off some more.)

Me attha kathada?:oo:
 

wisal

Member
Jul 2, 2009
7,624
759
0
Israel
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