The "Bro" Code

DonnieBrasco

Member
May 7, 2012
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Austria
The Bro Code
In order to carry the status of "bro" you must obey all of the Bro Code. :yes::yes:

1: Bros before hoes – A ‘hoe’ is defined as any woman that is not your wife or any other direct family.

2: A bro is always allowed to do something stupid as long as his bro’s are doing it.

3: If a bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when fully grown.

4: Whether a Bro is into sports or not, a Bro picks a team and supports them until his dying breath.

broshake.jpg


5: A bro shall not gaze at a naked bro, if for ANY reason a bro gets naked, all other bros will act as if nothing is out of the ordinary, averting their eyes away. If the towel drops, so do your eyes.

6: A bro never sends a birthday card to another bro.

7: A bro is honor bound to aid his bros in moving house, DIY, and any other physical labour. A cold, fresh pint is always reward enough for helping.

8: Bros do not share dessert.

9: A bro never dances with his hands above his head.

10: If a bro leads a beer/food run, he is entitled to any and all left over change.

11: A bro will not sleep with another bro’s sister. However, a bro is allowed to be vocal about her level of attractiveness.

12: A Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip.

13: A Bro doesn’t allow another Bro to get married until he’s at least thirty.

14: When using urinals, a Bro stares straight ahead AT ALL TIMES.

15: Bros cannot make eye-contact during a Devil’s Three-way.

16: A Bro never rents a chick flick.

17: Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.

18: A Bro never cries. With the exception of being physically threatened by Chuck Norris.

19: When greeting another Bro, never engage in a full embrace.

20: A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro.

21: A Bro never wears pink.

22: A Bro never publicly reveals how many women he’s slept with, And never reveals how many women another Bro has slept with.

23: If a Bro accidentally strikes another Bro’s crotch while walking, both silently agree to act as if nothing happened.

24: A Bro is not required to remember another Bros birthday.

25: A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on all Bro holidays, such as St. Paddy’s Day.

26: A Bro never borrows or lends clothes to another Bro.

27: A Bro doesn’t grow a moustache.

28: In the event that two Bros clock/lock on to the same woman, the Bro who has been without woman the longest is given first shot, a shot that must be taken within 24 hours, before being passed on.

29: A Bro will make any and all efforts to provide his Bro with a condom when he scores.

30: A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks among Bros.

31: Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a Douche.

32: A Bro ALWAYS enhances another Bro’s job description when introducing him.

33: A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.

34: If two Bros get into a heated argument over something and one says something out of line, the other shall not expect him to take it back or apologize, that’s what women do.

35: If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros.

36: A Bro never questions another Bro’s stated golf score, maximum bench press, or height. He can however, ask the Bro to prove it.

37: If a Bro, for whatever reason must drive another Bro’s car, he shall not adjust the preprogrammed radio stations.

38: A Bro shows up at another Bro’s party with at least one more unit of alcohol than he plans to drink.

39: Bros don’t speak French to each other.

40: If a Bro is in the toilet and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may toss him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open more than 30 degrees.

41: Bros shall go camping once a year, or at least start a fire.

42: If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave.

43: A Bro never wears socks with sandals.

44: The mum of a Bro is always off-limits.

45: If a Bro is not invited to another Bro’s wedding, he doesn’t make a big deal out of it.

46: If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his Facebook/Twitter the Bro will sign out for him, but only after many many humiliating updates.

47: A Bro doesn’t sing along to music in a bar.

48: “Clothing optional” doesn’t really mean “clothing optional” to Bros.

49: A Bro shall not damage another Bros’ chances to score with a chick.

50: A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control.

51: When a Bro is with his Bros, he is not a vegetarian.

52: If a Bro should fail at anything during sporting activities or games, he is required to make an excuse for himself, it is always the ball, bat, racket, shoes, glove, controller or equipment’s fault.

53: If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro, he is required to attempt to lose him in traffic as a joke.

54: Every Bro knows a Bro who is the worlds best at something.

55: If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of lawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back.

56: If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask what condition the car is in, before asking if his Bro is okay.

57: When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros.

58: A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find his face covered in drawings and shaving foam.

59: When executing a high five a Bro is forbidden from intertwining fingers.

60: A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion.

61: A Bro doesn’t listen to chick music…in front of other Bros.

62: A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars.

63: No sex with you Bro’s ex. It is never ever permissible for a Bro to sleep with his Bro’s ex.

64: When a Bro is in doubt, he shall consider the actions of Chuck Norris before making a decision.

65: Bro’s don’t quote Oscar Wilde

66: A Bro Always Admits When He Farted

67: A Bro Never Uses A Urinal That’s Right Next To The Other Bro

68: A bro will always verify another bro’s story when he is trying to score, even if the story is at your expense or an out right lie.

69: All bro’s are distracted by the number 69 and it’s sexual meaning, rendering all bros unable to read anything immediately after this number.

70: If your team beats your Bro’s team, you have 24 hours to rub it in. With the exception of cup finals, don’t kick a man while he is down.

71: A bro always takes a piss standing up.

72: A bro never catches a cold. Only women catch colds, bro’s are struck down with Man Flu.

73: If a bro finds his bro’s girlfriend repulsive, he shall not say anything until they have broken up.

74: A bro never gives another bro the silent treatment

75: If a married bro is out with a single Bro/s, it is implicit that said married bro be the brunt of any jokes and is expected to jump on any grenades that may aid or prevent the single bro from scoring.

76: A bro always has his bro’s back

77: A girl can be a bro if and only if:

1) She is the only girl present with the bros.

2) She is not related to any of the bros.

3) She is not dating/married to any of the bros.

4) Has been accepted by all other bros unanimously.

5) Agrees with and abides by ALL bro codes.

78: Bros DO NOT make eye contact while at urinals, and DO NOT take a peek at their bro’s little bro.

79: A Bro DOES NOT masturbate in front of other bros, or anyone else.

80: When a Bro asks another Bro to look after their drink, a Bro never tampers with it. Pranks and/or revenge never involve a another Bro’s drink.

81: A Bro doesn’t un-friend his Bro on Facebook.

82: All Bro’s are required to take turns and share the role as ‘designated driver’ unless you get a taxi, in which case all Bro’s are expected to chip in an even share of the fare.

83: Bros don’t wax their body hair.

84: A Bro is not expected to notice another Bro’s new haircut

85: A Bro never asks another Bro to come with them to the bathroom.

86: A Bro never wears Crocs

87: Bros DO NOT take Facebook slut style photos of themselves in the mirror.

88: A Bro never uses another Bro’s toothbrush.

89: Bros don’t use umbrellas.

90: A Bro does not bitch, he asks for help and/or advice before any details of the issue are spoken. Furthermore, a Bro only speaks about his trivial problems to highlight the comical and unusual, otherwise he is on his own.

91: A Bro DOES NOT choose his own nickname. A nickname is bestowed upon you by your fellow bros, either as a punishment or a reward for epic deeds.

92: Bros take care of their fellow bros when they have too much to drink. “Taking care” is defined by:
1) Making sure they doesn’t get into fights.
2) Making sure they don’t drive.
3) Making sure they get home in one piece, or at the very least get them into their own garden.

93: A Bro of a Bro is a Bro to you.

94: When a Bro has a kid, his Bros become honourary uncles and must take this honour seriously, offering the same Bro-like respect for the child, and hand down valuable life lessons using their father’s moments of stupidity as the tales of caution.

95: A Bro never keeps a photo of his Bro in his wallet.

96: Bro’s don’t pout for photos.

97: A bro does not allow his bro to drunk dial or text his ex. This is one of very few situations where a punch to the groin is acceptable, your bro will thank you for it later.

98: Bro’s don’t share details about their “little bro” with other bro’s.

99: Bro’s don’t wear skinny jeans.

100: Once shook upon, a bro ALWAYS honours a bet. No matter what the agreed proposition is, the losing bro honours the bet.

101: A bro is honour bound to accept all arm wrestling challenges.

102: Bro’s pay for their dates

103: Bro’s don’t use emoticons in messages to other bros

104: Bros don’t stop to smell flowers

105: When in doubt, ask your bros.

106: Bros DO NOT TOUCH other bro’s drinks without express permission

107: Bro’s don’t wear flat-brimmed hats

108: If a chick fight breaks out, all nearby bro’s must be alerted IMMEDIATELY. Furthermore, bro’s DO NOT break up chick fights unless blood is drawn.

109: A bro will answer the phone call of another bro at any time of day for any reason

110: A bro does not cock-block another bro for any reason

111: If a bro asks you to the match/game you are honor bound to say yes

112: Every Bro gets 1 “stay away” card per year to use on a woman they have a special interest in. This can only be applied to a single women who the Bro has known for at least 1 month. Once applied all other Bro’s are forbidden to date that woman (The year countdown starts from the moment of declaration and is non transferable).

113: Single Bro’s always try and sit with one seat between them in case any ladies come along that don’t have anywhere to sit

114: If a Bro receives naked picture(s) on his cell phone from a hot chick, his Bros are immediately entitled to view said picture(s), as long as there are no Bros (or any other beings with a Y chromosome) present in the image. In the rare event that this occurs, immediately delete it and never call/text her again.

115: When a Bro has an itch or needs food and is about to beat a world record, Bro’s scratch that itch and make him any food he wants.

116: A Bro will ALWAYS watch a movie narrated by Morgan Freeman.

117: A Bro has to scratch when a Bro has to scratch.

118: At a Bro’s funeral, all other bro’s toast with the deceased’s drink of choice

119: When a Bro wants to do something stupid, first you try to talk the Bro out of it. If they still want to do it, you film it.

120: A bro never shows or tells a crazy chick where his fellow bro lives or stays, only that bro can subject himself to that grief.

121: A bro must NEVER tamper with another bro’s suit, and must never impede on a bro’s ability to suit up.

122: ALL conversations between bros are subject to “bro to bro confidentiality”.

123: A bro cannot give another bro a Teddy bear.

124: Bros shall never under any circumstances go and see chick flicks alone. Chick flicks are only tolerated when there is a 100% chance of getting laid.

125: A bro is always psyched. ALWAYS.

126: A bro does not dare/challenge another bro to do anything they wouldn’t try them self. If the dare/challenge is turned down, the challenger must attempt it before ridicule is permitted.

127: A Bro and a Brother are not the same thing.

128: When a Bro can only take one other bro to something epic (for example: having 1 spare ticket)… The Bro doesn’t show favoritism by choosing a Bro, instead all bro’s are offered a chance to compete in a challenge (or series of challenges) in order to earn the privilege.

129: A bro never rearranges the dishes at another bros house.

130: During Paint Balling activities bro’s do not wipe clean their fellow bro’s protective face masks

131: Paint Balling is the ONLY combat scenario in which a bro’s balls are not off limits.

132: When a Bro leaves his seat, the seat becomes vacant and cannot be reclaimed if a fellow Bro takes it. Lift your feet, lose your seat.

133: Bros shall not wear a Fanny Pack/Bum Bag

134: A Bro never leaves a Bro behind.

135: A bro never makes eye-contact with another bro while eating a banana.

136: Dibs cannot be implied, you must call dibs in front of witnesses for any said dibs to be valid with bros.

137: When playing or responding to a prank, a Bro’s car is off limits.

138: When Bro’s hug, they do not close their eyes and/or rest their head on the other bro’s shoulder.

140: Bro’s ONLY get their hair cut at a barbers, with the exception of shaving the whole head of hair, which can be done at home.

141: If you catch your bro’s girl cheating you immediately tell your bro regardless of any possible shitstorm that may arise.

142: A bro never lets another bro drink and drive. If your drunk bro puts up a struggle you are permitted to forcefully stop him, in that situation the usual rules of bro combat apply.

142: A Bro always has a condom in his wallet.

143: All bros like steak

144: A bro never facetimes, skypes or uses any other other kind of visual communication while taking a dump.

145: A bro never touches another bro’s muscles, no matter how impressive

146: A Bro never lets his broken hearted Bro drink alone.

147: A Bro Never tickles another Bro.

148: A Bro always offers his Bro’s a drink when getting one for himself

149: Bro’s wear their pants, jeans, trousers, shorts etc, above their ass

150: Bro’s DO NOT discuss the events of a bachelor party/weekend with non Bros.

151: On a bus, A Bro should not sit next to another bro unless it’s the only available seat left.

152: Bro’s take any opportunity to look down a woman’s low cut top. With the exception of a fellow Bro’s girl, wife or mother.

153: A Bro does not put his hand on another bro’s waist.

154: Bro’s do not use a photo of their pet, car or children as their profile picture.

155: Bros don’t have a pet cat. The only excuse for a cat living in a Bro’s household is if it belongs to his wife, daughter, female house mate or girlfriend he lives with.

156: Bros don’t set other Bros up on blind dates. If a Bro does want to introduce a Bro to a girl, they must show the Bro photos and in no way dress up and over sell it.

157: A bro doesn’t get lost, he merely finds an alternate route.

158: Games before dames.

159: Bros never use the term ‘yolo’

160: Bro’s are not allowed to own/carry a hand bag. Calling it a ‘Man Bag’ does not stop it being a girl’s hand bag.

161: If a bro wins a trophy that can be in any way used as a cup, he will drink alcohol out of it as soon as possible.

162: If a bro finds out a girl he has slept with has a serious boyfriend, if possible, he will leave a quarter/penny/coin under his shaving foam or deodorant as an apology and a signal to that bro to get rid ASAP.

163: Bros don’t giggle.

164: Bros don’t wear turtlenecks

165: If bros share a house/flat/apartment, all bros are obligated to stay out for the evening if a fellow bro wants to entertain a woman.

166: A bro NEVER under ANY circumstances gets with or even attempts to get with another bro’s girl.

167: A bro may only ever stop a fellow bro from hooking up with a girl if, and only if, he is 100% sure that said girl is in fact a dude.

168: Bro’s don’t touch each others hair.

169: When a bro offers another bro chewing gum, that offer is for two or more pieces, never one!

170: Bro’s don’t smell each other on purpose.

171: A bro does not sleep on the same bed as another bro.

172: Bros never use the term SWAG to describe anything.

173: Bros only comment on a fellow bro’s fashion choice if that choice will affect the bro’s ability to get laid.

174: Bros do not pinch

175: A bro is NEVER afraid to fail



Source : www.brocode.org :yes::yes:
 
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Ace Viper

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  • Jul 6, 2015
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    Ace Viper

    Well-known member
  • Jul 6, 2015
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