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ElaKiri Jokes
The Most Venomous Snake in The World (18+)
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<blockquote data-quote="Intel_Nehalem" data-source="post: 3599231" data-attributes="member: 105182"><p><strong>NAME:</strong> "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) </p><p><strong>LOCATION</strong>: Throughout the world </p><p><strong>DESCRIPTION: </strong>Varying from pale pink to black. Fangless, with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood and subspecies. </p><p><strong>SYMPTOMS:</strong> This snake attacks mainly women (although a subgroup only reacts to men), in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then, a severe swelling, followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. </p><p><strong>HABITAT:</strong> Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places. </p><p><strong>ANTIDOTE:</strong> Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body, only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men. </p><p><strong>WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED:</strong> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong>TORNIQUET: </strong>Do not apply a tourniquet, as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected. </p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong>CUTTING THE WOUND: </strong>This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow. </p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong>SUCKING THE WOUND:</strong> This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success. </p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><strong>MILKING THE SNAKE:</strong> <ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Place 4 fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive and start spitting.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.</li> </ol> </p><p><strong>CONCLUSION: </strong>This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin and, treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet. </p><p> </p><p>Caught this off the web, if it is repost i am sorry</p><p>(Even I am not 18 yet)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Intel_Nehalem, post: 3599231, member: 105182"] [B]NAME:[/B] "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) [B]LOCATION[/B]: Throughout the world [B]DESCRIPTION: [/B]Varying from pale pink to black. Fangless, with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood and subspecies. [B]SYMPTOMS:[/B] This snake attacks mainly women (although a subgroup only reacts to men), in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then, a severe swelling, followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. [B]HABITAT:[/B] Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places. [B]ANTIDOTE:[/B] Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body, only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men. [B]WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED:[/B] [INDENT][B]TORNIQUET: [/B]Do not apply a tourniquet, as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected. [B]CUTTING THE WOUND: [/B]This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow. [B]SUCKING THE WOUND:[/B] This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success. [B]MILKING THE SNAKE:[/B] [LIST=1] [*]Place 4 fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front. [*]Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion. [*]This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive and start spitting. [*]The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked. [*]Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.[/LIST][/INDENT][B]CONCLUSION: [/B]This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin and, treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet. Caught this off the web, if it is repost i am sorry (Even I am not 18 yet) [/QUOTE]
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