used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
***********
Gardening Rule:
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.
If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
***********
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
***********
Never take life seriously.
Nobody gets out alive anyway.
***********
There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
***********
Life is sexually transmitted.
***********
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
***********
If quitters never win, and winners never quit,
Then who is the fool who said : "Quit while you're ahead?"
***********
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
***********
Always get the last word in: Apologize.
***********
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;
Teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
***********
Some people are like Slinkies . .
Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
***********
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
***********
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
***********
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
***********
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
***********
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
***********
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
***********
***********
Gardening Rule:
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.
If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
***********
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
***********
Never take life seriously.
Nobody gets out alive anyway.
***********
There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
***********
Life is sexually transmitted.
***********
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
***********
If quitters never win, and winners never quit,
Then who is the fool who said : "Quit while you're ahead?"
***********
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
***********
Always get the last word in: Apologize.
***********
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;
Teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
***********
Some people are like Slinkies . .
Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
***********
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
***********
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
***********
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
***********
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
***********
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
***********
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
***********
