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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Billl Gates" data-source="post: 3031276" data-attributes="member: 97732">Sorry this should goes to joke section *Adam and Eve virus:* Takes a couple of bytes outof your Apple.*Airline virus:* You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.*Anita Hill virus:* Lies dormant for ten years.*Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:* Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.*AT&T virus:* Every three minutes it tells you what great service you aregetting.*The MCI virus:* Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying toomuch for the AT&T virus.*Bill Clinton virus:* This virus mutates from region to region and we're notexactly sure what it does.*Bill Clinton virus:* Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% topoor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones.This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs,even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.*Congressional Virus:* Overdraws your computer.*Congressional Virus:* The computer locks up, screen splits erratically witha message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.*Dan Quayle virus:* Prevents your system from spawning any child processeswithout joining into a binary network.*Dan Quayle virus:* Simplye addse ane ee toe everye worde youe typee..*David Duke virus:* Makes your screen go completely white.*Elvis virus:* Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then selfdestructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations acrossrural America.*Federal bureaucrat virus:* Divides your hard disk into hundreds of littleunits, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to bethe most important part of the computer.*Freudian virus:* Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its ownmotherboard.*Gallup virus:* Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent oftheir data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin oferror).*George Bush virus:* Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it untilNovember.*Government economist virus:* Nothing works, but all your diagnosticsoftware says everything is fine.*Jerry Brown virus:* Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.*Madonna virus:* If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!*Mario Cuomo virus:* It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.*Michael Jackson virus:* Hard to identify because it is constantly alteringits appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.*New World Order virus:* probably harmless, but it makes a lot of peoplereally mad just thinking about it.*Nike virus:* Just Does It!*Ollie North virus:* Turns your printer into a document shredder.*Oprah Winfrey virus:* Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, andthen slowly expands back to 200MB.*Pat Buchanan virus:* Shifts all your output to the extreme right of yourscreen.*Paul Revere virus:* This revolutionary virus does not horse around. Itwarns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.*Paul Tsongas virus:* Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not SantaClaus."*PBS virus:* Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.*Politically correct virus:* Never calls itself a "virus", but insteadrefers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".*Richard Nixon virus:* Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus", you can wipeit out but it always makes a comeback.*Right To Life virus:* Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of howold it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see acounselor about possible alternatives.*Ross Perot virus:* Activates every component in your system, just beforethe whole thing quits.*Ted Kennedy virus:* Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.*Ted Turner virus:* Colorizes your monochrome monitor.*Terry Randle virus:* Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort"from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.*Texas virus:* Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.*UK Parliament virus:* Splits the screen into two with a message in eachhalf blaming other side for the state of the system.*Warren Commission virus:* Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years. </blockquote>

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