A Sri lankan family in Nugegoda was puzzled when
the coffin of
their dead Mother arrived from Canada .
It was sent by
one of the
daughters settled in Vancouver . The dead body was very
tightly squeezed
inside the coffin,with no space left in it! When they
opened the lid,
they found a letter on top, which read as follows:
"Dear brothers and sisters,I am sending our
mother's body to you since
it was her last wish that: She should be buried only in
the cemetery of
the All Saints Church in Borella - Colombo . And also
she told me to
tell all of you that you should use A.F. Raymond for
embalm works not
Barney Raymond or Jayaratne.
For Alms giving she said not to invite the entire town
and the distant
relatives. She said to order (only for our 4
families)
65 packets of
Mutton Biriyani from Hotel Buhari at Maradana and open
only 12 bottles
of Special Arrack for the guys and only one case of
Three Coins for the
ladies.
One more thing she was very particular about the
Hearse,which her
coffin should carry from our home to Borella, should be
2002 model
Buick Automatic.
She doesn't like manual gear old vehicles.
DON"T FORGET THESE
UNDERLINED REQUESTS ARE FROM HER LAST WISH.
Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave
are consumed and
hopefully this time the God will look at us and blessed
with a boy.
Ajith is working like a donkey for 20 hours a day for 3
companies to
save some money for the dowries of
girls...................Anyway, let's
go back to Ammi's funeral
business.
You will find inside the coffin, under Ammi's body,
12 cans of Kraft
cheese,10 packets of M&M chocolates, 1 box of Kit
Kat, 8 packets of
Wrigley's Chewing Gum, 6 tins of Corned beef, 24
packets of Maggie
instant noodles and 12 packets each Jelly & Custard
powder. Please
divide these among all of you. On Ammi's feet you
will find new Pair of
Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mangalika. Also, there are 2
pairs of Shoes
for Rosy's and Bernard's sons. Hope the sizes
are correct.
Ammi is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is
for Mangalika
and the others are for my nephews. Just distribute them
among
yourselves. The 2 new Levi's Jeans that Ammi is
wearing are for the
boys (lanka & Nilanka). The Swiss watch that
Lakmali
wanted is on
Ammi's left hand. The silver colour bangle on
Ammi's right hand is for
Lakshmi who becamea big girl five years back.
Josephine Aunty, Please, Please remove and take the
necklace, earrings
and the ring that you are waiting for the past 20 years
saying that
Ammi had taken twenty five thousand rupees against them
for my Akki's
wedding.
Aunty, I will beg you now to stop telling every one
about this money
matter.
These gold worth more than that and I can get fifty
thousand from Hetti
Uncle if I go to Jayalalitha's.
The 6 white cotton socks that Ammi is wearing must be
divided among my
teenage nephews. And also there are 4 Bras Ammi is
wearing. Give two to
Seelawathi who is our servant lady and the remaining
two you can
give
one to next door Charlet aunty and one to Doby Nenda.
Please distribute
all these uniformly and if anything more required let
me know, since
our Thaththi is also not keeping well nowadays; so I
can send with him
the same way. This way is much easy, cheaper and you
don't need to
worry about customs too.
bye........." Shanti
P.S- Sorry if dz z offensiv
lol
the coffin of
their dead Mother arrived from Canada .
It was sent by
one of the
daughters settled in Vancouver . The dead body was very
tightly squeezed
inside the coffin,with no space left in it! When they
opened the lid,
they found a letter on top, which read as follows:
"Dear brothers and sisters,I am sending our
mother's body to you since
it was her last wish that: She should be buried only in
the cemetery of
the All Saints Church in Borella - Colombo . And also
she told me to
tell all of you that you should use A.F. Raymond for
embalm works not
Barney Raymond or Jayaratne.
For Alms giving she said not to invite the entire town
and the distant
relatives. She said to order (only for our 4
families)
65 packets of
Mutton Biriyani from Hotel Buhari at Maradana and open
only 12 bottles
of Special Arrack for the guys and only one case of
Three Coins for the
ladies.
One more thing she was very particular about the
Hearse,which her
coffin should carry from our home to Borella, should be
2002 model
Buick Automatic.
She doesn't like manual gear old vehicles.
DON"T FORGET THESE
UNDERLINED REQUESTS ARE FROM HER LAST WISH.
Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave
are consumed and
hopefully this time the God will look at us and blessed
with a boy.
Ajith is working like a donkey for 20 hours a day for 3
companies to
save some money for the dowries of
girls...................Anyway, let's
go back to Ammi's funeral
business.
You will find inside the coffin, under Ammi's body,
12 cans of Kraft
cheese,10 packets of M&M chocolates, 1 box of Kit
Kat, 8 packets of
Wrigley's Chewing Gum, 6 tins of Corned beef, 24
packets of Maggie
instant noodles and 12 packets each Jelly & Custard
powder. Please
divide these among all of you. On Ammi's feet you
will find new Pair of
Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mangalika. Also, there are 2
pairs of Shoes
for Rosy's and Bernard's sons. Hope the sizes
are correct.
Ammi is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is
for Mangalika
and the others are for my nephews. Just distribute them
among
yourselves. The 2 new Levi's Jeans that Ammi is
wearing are for the
boys (lanka & Nilanka). The Swiss watch that
Lakmali
wanted is on
Ammi's left hand. The silver colour bangle on
Ammi's right hand is for
Lakshmi who becamea big girl five years back.
Josephine Aunty, Please, Please remove and take the
necklace, earrings
and the ring that you are waiting for the past 20 years
saying that
Ammi had taken twenty five thousand rupees against them
for my Akki's
wedding.
Aunty, I will beg you now to stop telling every one
about this money
matter.
These gold worth more than that and I can get fifty
thousand from Hetti
Uncle if I go to Jayalalitha's.
The 6 white cotton socks that Ammi is wearing must be
divided among my
teenage nephews. And also there are 4 Bras Ammi is
wearing. Give two to
Seelawathi who is our servant lady and the remaining
two you can
give
one to next door Charlet aunty and one to Doby Nenda.
Please distribute
all these uniformly and if anything more required let
me know, since
our Thaththi is also not keeping well nowadays; so I
can send with him
the same way. This way is much easy, cheaper and you
don't need to
worry about customs too.
bye........." Shanti
P.S- Sorry if dz z offensiv
lol
